maybe one of the best selling points of a world-loved author is when their books are ridiculously easy to binge-read within the smol lengths of a mere four hours.
in other words, ALICE OSEMAN PROBABLY DESERVES TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD SOMEDAY.
although i wouldn’t exactly encourage the idea too much, because MAKING THE WORLD ALL MY OWN IS MY LIFELONG DREAM DARNIT. but i also wouldn’t be completely against the otherly dreams, because, COME TO THINK OF IT. this reality would be so much better than, say, a marissa meyer rule BECAUSE I AM FIRMLY AGAINST THAT.
Continue reading “that time when loveless ran completely contradictory of its title and had me flailing over printed pages || my life is perfect”
if we started a conversation about the kind of month september ended up being, i’d possibly run away into the far, far corners of the haunted woods and never return.
haunted woods are ridiculously fascinating. THERE’S SO MANY SECRETS AND DARKNESS AND FUN. there’s also the slight possibility that you might someday stumble upon hidden underground libraries AND LIVE THERE FOR AN ETERNITY (immortal rooms that let you borrow some of their magic are pretty amazing like that) and return back to overground humanity when the initial question-asker who led TO YOUR UNEARTHLY AMAZING FATE is no more and the names of the months have changed and then you could use all of the fantasy you’ve devoured TO TAKE OVER UNIVERSES AND DECLARE YOUR RULE AS QUEEN, BURNING DOWN OF ALL THE VILLAGES THAT DEEM IT ACCEPTABLE TO DISAGREE WITH YOU.
Continue reading “september inked on paper || WHO THE HELL IS IN CONTROL HERE??? and HOW DARE THEY break my reputation of BEING FABULOUSLY UNPUNCTUAL??? HOW DARE YOU, BOB”
look. the volcra* devoured me okay??
they’re actually incredibly loyal beings who always kidnap me whenever i need them to. or maybe they’re just good liars and i feed them all the strawberries sometimes so they keep secrets for me. BUT THEY’RE GOOD PEOPLE OKAY?? i love them. only second to dragons obviously. AND ALSO OLIVES AND MY SIX OF CROWS. six of crows rules.
but look. i’m back!!!!!!! aren’t you THE HAPPIEST??
yes. yes you are.
Continue reading “what goes on with the olive’s life (and all the details you need to know about unfortunate disappearances and world conquering || a #amcurrently update wherein i am excited and tired and also IN DESPERATE NEED OF OLIVES AND SLEEP. also HIIII I’M BACK AND BRING CAKE BECAUSE YOU MISSED ME (YOU DID)”
if someone happened to read 366 books in an entire (non-leap) year, would that mean they have successfully defeated the months?? by outnumbering the entirety of the days??
it should right?? because that would be fun and also make time look mortal and possible-to-mess-with. which, honestly?? WOULD BE QUITE PHENOMENAL ACTUALLY!! while also giving us the LONG-AWAITED CHANCE AT REVENGE. fun stuff.
but then there’s also this: if someone read 30 books every month, WOULDN’T THEY HAVE TO EVILLY CACKLE WHILE THEY CONVENIENTLY PROCEEDED TO IGNORE THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE?? and wouldn’t huge HUUUUGE accomplishments such as READING 30 BOOKS IN A MONTH (OHMIGOSH WHAT) seem hugely and unfairly mediocre and simple, every-day stuff??
Continue reading “july inked on paper || wherein the books betrayed me?? ft. talk of defeating time and the universe + ice cream + the general brekker obsession with dark chocolate and maybe ridiculous levels of gushing because i’m obsessed like that”
possibly, one of the worst things in life is when you read an entire book and then realize that you are passionately of the mind that what you just read MUST BE BURNED DOWN, even if aforementioned burning TAKES DOWN THE WORLD WITH IT.
it’s even sadder if you accidentally happen to read an entire SERIES that matches the description.
hi i’m the olive (REMEMBER ME?? i rule upon the worlds??) and i spent 2 sleepless days wasting my time trying not to throw books and torn hair at the wall.
mostly because it wasn’t the wall’s fault, ok?? BUT ALSO BECAUSE AFOREMENTIONED BOOKS WERE ON MY IPAD AND THE IPAD IS MY LIFE SO THIS IS TECHNICALLY SELF-DESTRUCTION AND WHY WOULD I DO THAT.
Continue reading “i binge-read the summer i turned pretty and am now a sleep-deprived mess. SEND HELP?? || so i may have stumbled upon my MOST HATED BOOK OF ALL TIME THAT SHALL BE THE REASON BEHIND MY EVILLY SAD DESTRUCTION”
sometimes the months decide to be ridiculous and fly by you.
it’s the way of the world actually, because it feeds off of evilness like that.
giving you major existential crises sometime around july and the end of the year are it’s greatest reasons for being.
so that’s how you find yourself dreaming of a windy january day (or, like, a scorching hot one, depending on where you live, YOU ALIEN), looking out the window at the ice cream truck (REVERSE THE CONDITIONS OF EVERYTHING IF THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE IS INVOLVED) and worriedly obsessing over the fact that EVERYONE SKIPPED MAY AND NO ONE EVEN SEEMS TO NOTICE.
Continue reading “june inked on paper || wherein all the screaming happened and exams tortured my soul + IT’S SUMMER”
sometimes you spend all your days waiting for summer breaks and the rest of the year is basically just the time when you plan out aforementioned summer and create tbrs and other plans and GET EXCITED OVER STUFF.
this is also what i usually do (i’m unoriginal like that) BECAUSE SUMMER IS THE ACTUAL PART OF LIFE, OKAY?!! the rest of the time is just, like, a break from summer BECAUSE THE EXCITEMENT WOULD VANISH IF WE HAD THE GOOD STUFF ALL THE TIME. rules of the universe, I DISAGREE OF COURSE. summer is amazing and we MUST have it all the time WHO EVEN MAKES THESE RULES DARNIT!
but anyway. thing is. IT’S SUMMER!!!!! aka the most awaited time of year, WHEN WE DEVOUR ALL THE BOOKS AND SWIM IN THE WATER (this is more like ‘common misconception’ actually. I CAN’T SWIM) and EAT ALL THE ICE CREAM OF EVER and take over the world. THE GOOD STUFF.
Continue reading “it’s summer and i am dangerously excited || wherein you encounter my plans of world domination”
sometimes you read a book and you wish you could frame all of these sentences and words and jumbles of letters so you could stare at them all day and not feel like they deserve a life of their own and you’re the VILLAIN-FULL-OF-EVILNESS for not being able to give it to them.
sometimes you also wish thoughts could be more coherent things instead of jumbled messes of screeching obsessions that are famous for not making any sense.
but life is disappointing in some ways.
those aforementioned two come under the unfortunate category.
it’s a well-known fact that books rule the word and take over lives when they feel like it. it’s also a well-known fact that such books are my one and only weakness.
Continue reading “why you need to read ‘i kissed shara wheeler’ RIGHT NOW (i’m bribing you with chocolate so it’s not really much of a choice, OKAY??) + how it stole my life and also my entire existence (it’s because i’m kind) || featuring screams and certain book recs for the desperate souls”
remember that one time we talked about living in fantasy worlds and chasing dragons and finally accomplishing our life-long dreams of world domination?
and then we celebrated the 100 fantasy-like followers with chocolates and promises of secrets. wherein i demanded questions and you all provided, like the good little olives that you are.
after that i proved my loyalty to the olive race by never providing those aforementioned secrets (it was the exams, people, BLAME THE EXAMS) and silently disappearing for a bit (i was drowning under books okay??). however, i have returned with all the secrets in tow (AREN’T YOU PROUD), so everybody SCREAM!!
also apparently you guys are nosy little beans (DON’T WORRY, I STILL LOVE YOU) and thus dumped me with a ton of question (BUT ALSO, i really appreciate it!! because i need all the loyalty from you, the olives, obviously) so its not exactly my fault if this post is L O N G, okay?? no, i don’t mean the usual oops-i-am-obsessed-with-words-and-wrote-2000-words-of-nonsense. It’s more like oh-my-gosh-i-am-in-love-with-words-and-wish-to-drown-under-them-for-the-rest-of-ever kind.
Continue reading “secret revelations of the olivish being (which is ME)|| remember that one time 8737636 years back when i asked you for questions?? well, i return to provide answers AND ALSO MORE CHOCOLATES (plus some secrets) || part 1”
Words are fun sometimes.
Mostly because they have letters and you can spell ‘d r a g o n’ with them.
So I write words sometimes. Which you’d probably know because that’s kind of what’s going on now? Not to mention I LOVE DRAGONS. So I need words obviously. THEY’RE CRUCIAL. Or my dragons would die.
Except I have been too busy lately, narrating the many ways shakespeare is overhyped to my aforementioned precious dragons and eating all the olives and waffles and chocolates and also devouring all the words. I’VE BEEN BUSY, ALRIGHT? WORLD DOMINATION TAKES TIME AND INSANELY HUGE AMOUNTS OF PLANNING, HUMANS! The words got a little abandoned. Which was sad, but I’M WORKING ON IT, OKAY?
Continue reading “Pretty Deadly Words #2 || I scream about waffles and darkness and words AND MY NEW WIP”