Category: months inked on paper

decembers have the habit of being one of the most eventful times of year.

mostly because of all the vacations. vacations are the only times out-of-normal things deem it alright to happen. such as discovering magic inside cupboard spaces or having giants accidentally break open your hotel door and whisk you away to magiclands. or learning swordfighting with pen-shaped gifts from centaurs and going on road trips that shall change your life for the rest of time. discovering water to change the course of civilization. (they never had schools at the time. IT WAS AN ALL-SEASON VACATION. THE LUCKY BEANS) and running away from home and falling into a hole where monsters roam. WHICH ENDS WITH HAVING ALL YOUR BONES EATEN, YOU HEADLESS REVOLUTIONARY. (why are you always so dumb, bob)

if we started a conversation about the kind of month september ended up being, i’d possibly run away into the far, far corners of the haunted woods and never return.

haunted woods are ridiculously fascinating. THERE’S SO MANY SECRETS AND DARKNESS AND FUN. there’s also the slight possibility that you might someday stumble upon hidden underground libraries AND LIVE THERE FOR AN ETERNITY (immortal rooms that let you borrow some of their magic are pretty amazing like that) and return back to overground humanity when the initial question-asker who led TO YOUR UNEARTHLY AMAZING FATE is no more and the names of the months have changed and then you could use all of the fantasy you’ve devoured TO TAKE OVER UNIVERSES AND DECLARE YOUR RULE AS QUEEN, BURNING DOWN OF ALL THE VILLAGES THAT DEEM IT ACCEPTABLE TO DISAGREE WITH YOU.

if someone happened to read 366 books in an entire (non-leap) year, would that mean they have successfully defeated the months?? by outnumbering the entirety of the days??

it should right?? because that would be fun and also make time look mortal and possible-to-mess-with. which, honestly?? WOULD BE QUITE PHENOMENAL ACTUALLY!! while also giving us the LONG-AWAITED CHANCE AT REVENGE. fun stuff.

but then there’s also this: if someone read 30 books every month, WOULDN’T THEY HAVE TO EVILLY CACKLE WHILE THEY CONVENIENTLY PROCEEDED TO IGNORE THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE?? and wouldn’t huge HUUUUGE accomplishments such as READING 30 BOOKS IN A MONTH (OHMIGOSH WHAT) seem hugely and unfairly mediocre and simple, every-day stuff??

sometimes the months decide to be ridiculous and fly by you.

it’s the way of the world actually, because it feeds off of evilness like that.

giving you major existential crises sometime around july and the end of the year are it’s greatest reasons for being.

so that’s how you find yourself dreaming of a windy january day (or, like, a scorching hot one, depending on where you live, YOU ALIEN), looking out the window at the ice cream truck (REVERSE THE CONDITIONS OF EVERYTHING IF THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE IS INVOLVED) and worriedly obsessing over the fact that EVERYONE SKIPPED MAY AND NO ONE EVEN SEEMS TO NOTICE.