remember that one time we talked about living in fantasy worlds and chasing dragons and finally accomplishing our life-long dreams of world domination?
and then we celebrated the 100 fantasy-like followers with chocolates and promises of secrets. wherein i demanded questions and you all provided, like the good little olives that you are.
after that i proved my loyalty to the olive race by never providing those aforementioned secrets (it was the exams, people, BLAME THE EXAMS) and silently disappearing for a bit (i was drowning under books okay??). however, i have returned with all the secrets in tow (AREN’T YOU PROUD), so everybody SCREAM!!
also apparently you guys are nosy little beans (DON’T WORRY, I STILL LOVE YOU) and thus dumped me with a ton of question (BUT ALSO, i really appreciate it!! because i need all the loyalty from you, the olives, obviously) so its not exactly my fault if this post is L O N G, okay?? no, i don’t mean the usual oops-i-am-obsessed-with-words-and-wrote-2000-words-of-nonsense. It’s more like oh-my-gosh-i-am-in-love-with-words-and-wish-to-drown-under-them-for-the-rest-of-ever kind.
see. maybe i wrote a mini novella okay?? maybe this post is 4,000 words long.
I SAID MAYBE!!!
*also, all the AMAZING OLIVES who typed out all the questions have been linked back in the image above each question, SO CLICK THE LINKS PEOPLE*
đđ˘ đđĄđŹ đ˘đ đŹđ˘đ¨đĽ đđĽđ đđĽđđđĄđđŚ đĽđđđ?
…no. at least not that i know of. of course, they could be simultaneously living a secret life where the olives rule the skies and the people fight alongside dragons and have been known to devour entire libraries in a single lifetime, but i wouldn’t know. because ‘secrets’, remember?? but also. how could someone resist screeching over dragons and kaz brekker and gorgeous writing and ketterdam, when i am RIGHT HERE, gushing over it?? I WOULD KNOW. not-screaming requires great amounts of effort and self-control sometimes. I WOULD KNOW, OKAY?? especially after the insane amounts of effort i put into not doing aforementioned screaming each day. I AM EXPERIENCED LIKE THAT.
đŞđđđ§’đŚ đ§đđ đŞđ˘đĽđŚđ§ đđ˘đ˘đđđŚđ đŞđ˘đĽđđ đ§đ˘ đđđŠđ đđĄ?
possibly the one where you get killed 5 seconds after arriving.
which is maybe every single fantasy world of ever. because, like, monsters are powerful, all right?? they have sharp teeth and torturing people is their life-long dream and biggest purpose in life (WHICH IS WHAT THE LACK OF WORDS IN YOUR LIFE DOES TO YOU. maybe we need to teach the monsters how to read). plus, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW SWORD FIGHTING IF YOU GET DUMPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT, WITH AN ENTIRE CIRCLE OF MINOTAURS SURROUNDING YOU?? you must befriend them, THAT IS KEY.
yes, so maybe consider befriending the bad people and you might survive. or you could also befriend percy and steal the sword and bring it to me and i might agree to help protect you. MIGHT. i have other much more important things to do obviously (LIKE RANSACKING ALL THE LIBRARIES OF THE WHOLE WORLD) but maybe get a few olives too and i might consider it.
shhh, don’t rebel!! i shall answer the question! PATIENCE, PEOPLE. but okay, you probably wouldn’t want to stumble upon the nikara empire in your dream-like fantasies, because that shall only end in blood and war and carnage. and you might have to say goodbye to all the humans.
đđđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đđŠđđĽ đ§đđđĄđ ‘đđ đ đ§đđ đđĽđđđŹ đ˘đĄđ đđđđđ¨đŚđ đĄđ˘ đ˘đĄđ đđđŚđ đđ˘đŠđđŚ đđ˘đ˘đđŚ đđŚ đ đ¨đđ đđŚ đ đđ˘â đ¨đĄđ§đđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đđđŚđđ˘đŠđđĽđđ đ§đđ đđ˘đ˘đ đđđ˘đđ˘đŚđŁđđđĽđ?
HA! NO. was i not clear all the many, MANY times when i declared my title as QUEEN OF THE OLIVES?? i rule the world!! the books bow to me, and so do the undeserving mortals. they’re the weird ones for not dreaming sweet dreams of LIVING IN KETTERDAM. HOW DO PEOPLE EVEN LIVE LIKE THAT??? the world is ridiculous sometimes.
but also…. yes. SOMETIMES. me obsessing over going to camp half blood when the rest of civilization was worried about tests?? me bawling when hagrid never came to the door on my eleventh birthday?? I HAVE VAGUE MEMORIES.
plus, missing out on all the (supossed) fun and instead spending time running around libraries wasn’t exactly considered the best by most people. BUT SHHHH WHO CARES, AM I RIGHT??
i have ketterdam now and i shall one day rule the world. life is nice like that.
đ đđ˘đ˘đ đ§đđđ§ đ đđđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đ¨đđđŹ đđĽđŹ?
HA. how naive of you to assume i am human enough to actually cry? over BOOKS?? was i not clear the 78363872 times i mentioned how i am a soulless being with a black heart carved of the darkest stone, which is filled with poison and darkness and all things black?? i am evil and i am also queen and i dream of destroying the world sometimes and i kill without mercy and – OKAY SEE, BOOKS MAKE ME SOB SOMETIMES.
they’re rude like that. but i like to think i’m better than the tears and thus shall create a list for infliction of further torture UPON WHOEVER WAS BOLD ENOUGH TO ASK THIS EVIL QUESTION. (IT WAS MAYA, BY THE WAY)
- we are okay by nina lacour – it’s normal and COMPLETELY ALRIGHT for people to bawl over words at 2 in the night okay?? especially when books like this one exist. it was evil and it slightly destroyed me. then i cried.
- the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid – rollercoasters make people cry sometimes. especially when said rollercoaster comes in the form of gorgeous masterpieces such as this book. it’s basically words and stories and THE UNIVERSE woven into pieces of perfection.
- the boy who steals houses by c.g. drews – i was in india and it was midnight and the world was alseep and i was sobbing. THE ENDING WAS TORTUROUS OKAY?? sammy is my smol little bean AND HE IS AMAZING AND DESERVES THE WORLD. WHY WILL PEOPLE NOT GIVE IT TO HIM??
đ đĄđ˘đŚđ§đđđđđ / đđđđđđđ˘đ˘đ đđ˘đ˘đ đ§đđđ§ đđŚđĄ’đ§ đđđĽđĽđŹ đŁđ˘đ§đ§đđĽ đ˘đĽ đŁđđĽđđŹ đđđđđŚđ˘đĄ?
charlotte’s web!! it was perhaps the first ever novel i read and FELL IN LOVE WITH. and then re-read so many times i practically knew it by-heart. plus, I WAS OBSESSED WITH SPIDERS AFTER THAT?? and i once adopted a pet spider and named it charlotte but then it didn’t write any W O R D S on its web the next morning, which was disappointing and i cried.
aforementioned book is also the sole reason i dream of one day adopting a pet pig named wilbur. maybe we would gush over six of crows together and befriend charlotte and live on an olive farm and survive off of olives. and occasionally go out to roam the bookstores and buy more chocolates but spend the rest of our days reading and screaming and writing and dreaming. ALL THE FUN STUFF.
đŹđ˘đ¨đĽ đđđŠđ˘đĽđđ§đ, đ đ˘đŚđ§ đđđđŚđđđ-đ˘đ¨đ§ đ đđđĄ đđđđĽđđđ§đđĽ?
this one time i read a book and wanted magic powers. i imagined ants living in the wall above my bed. and they’d come out at night and steal my brain.
they didn’t though. ants are disappointing like that.
so obviously, to cure the disappointment, i bought myself a library with millions of books and swore to spend the rest of my life there.
it didn’t work.
the world is rude sometimes.
that’s when i decided to take my revenge and spend the rest of my life obsessing over book characters instead. it’s been really nice actually.
going to ravka and adopting kaz brekker is a smol dream of mine. he’s also aforementioned favorite, most-fleshed out main character AND GENIUS, BASICALLY?? but i also love inej and choosing is torturous like that.
đŹđ˘đ¨đĽ đđđŠđ˘đĽđđ§đ đ§đĽđ˘đŁđđŚ đđĄ đđ˘đ˘đđŚ?
HA. HAHAHAHAHAHA – i can currently come up with enough favorites to FILL UP AN ENTIRE POST?? and would also gladly do that BECAUSE SCREAMING ABOUT FAVORITES IS FUN, but also… limited word space is a HUGE problem sometimes. like right now. and throughout this ridiculously long post actually. WHY MUST YOU COUNT WORDS ALL THE TIME?? CAN I NOT SCREAM AS MUCH AS I LIKE?? #rude
but anyway. the tropes:
- characters that are amazing little beans and are ridiculously hilarious and thus have THE BEST NARRATION OF EVER and i immediately wish to befriend. someone write more books with this please?? BECAUSE IT IS THE MOST ABSOLUTE BEST OF EVER AND I FALL IN LOVE WITH IT.
- people who talk too much and their dialogue is quite often ridiculous (BUT THE GOOD KIND) and also the softest people who offer you samosas and explain the story behind them. look. kavi officially got me obsessed with samosas okay?? HE DESERVES TOO MUCH LOVE.
- amazing magic systems with all the dark dark dark stuff and lots of stabbing but also magic and the magic being dangerous and daaaaark. magic is too much FUN and must be allowed to rule the world. WHY DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW THIS ALREADY.
đđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đđ˘đ¨đđ đ˘đĄđđŹ đĽđđđ˘đ đ đđĄđ đ˘đĄđ đđ˘đ˘đ đ§đ˘ đđŠđđĽđŹđ˘đĄđ đđĄ đ§đđ đŞđ˘đĽđđ, đŞđđđ§ đŞđ˘đ¨đđ đđ§ đđ?
HA. you don’t get to ask me this, okay?? I MIGHT COMBUST FROM INDECISION AND YOU WOULDN’T GET TO EAT OLIVES ANYMORE. but also. i have an answer, because i am amazing like that AND GET TO PROVE MY LOYALTY TO THE CROWS. it’s six of crows, by the way, for any potato-headed olives amongst you WHO WERE STILL WONDERING WHAT THE HELL WE ARE GOING ON ABOUT. the sole book that occupies my entire life. (shhhh, i still love you, raven cycle) and also the key to converting the entire population of the world into hardcore fantasy fans?? #YES. people shall fall in love with it and name everyone kaz brekker and scientists might create ravka someday. maybe we’d even GET TO HOLD FIRE IN OUR HANDS AND BE NINA AND KILL PEOPLE BY FOLDING OUR FINGERS AND EAT ALL THE WAFFLES OF EVER.
đđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đđ˘đ¨đđ đđđđ đ đđđđ§đđ˘đĄđđ đđđđĽđđđ§đđĽ, đŞđđ˘ đŞđ˘đ¨đđ đđ§ đđ? (đ˘đĄđđŹ đ˘đĄđ đ đŚđŞđđđĽ đđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đđ˘đ¨đđđ đ đŹ đ§đđĽ đđđđđĄ)
i shall name 76346534365 for the sole purpose of being rebellious THANK YOU! and also helping said tbr in murder plans because i am evil like that. PLUS MURDER IS FUN OKAY?? YOU GET TO CACKLE EVILLY WHILE CREATING PLANS WHICH IS FUN. the world must cackle more often.
- jacob and Emma (from miss peregrine) for the simple reason that THEY ANNOY ME TO A FREAKISHLY EXTREME LEVEL. jacob keeps whining about having TOO MUCH MONEY (RIDICULOUSNESS) and emma is a disgrace to all the amazing badass characters of EVER. plus they’d both lose in a duel SO KILLING THEM WOULD BE EASY, WHILE ALSO MAKING ME LOOK BRILLIANT AT SWORD-FIGHTING.
- (#genius)
- mr. collins from pride and prejudice. see, his murder would be COMPLETELY ACCIDENTAL. he talks too much and 981265154% of it is nonsense infused with even larger levels of mundaneness and not even the INTERESTING kind of nonsense, so it’s not exactly my fault if i end up going insane and drop the knife. accidentally.
- the lass (from sun and moon, ice and snow) because of MANY REASONS, such as: 1) WHO THE HELL NAMES THEIR KID ‘THE LASS’????? 2) she lacks all semblances of personality + is insanely dumb to an umimaginable extent 3) ALSO SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD BY THE END OF THE BOOK, BUT SOMEHOW ISN’T?? (#UNFAIR) 4) DID I MENTION I HATE HER? 5) also SHE NEEDS A BETTER NAME, PEOPLE
- romeo and juliet BECAUSE THE ENTIRE IDEA IS RIDICULOUS. like, we go through 378363256235 words of life-threatening english JUST TO SEE THEM KILL THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY’RE STUPID AND THINK THAT THE OTHER PERSON IS DEAD?? WHY NOT CONSIDER CHECKING PROPERLY OR SOMETHING FIRST?? also did i mention the writing is freakishly HARD?? people need to be saved from the torture SO WHY NOT JUST MURDER THEM IN THE BEGINNING, RIGHT??
đŞđđđđ đŠđđđđđđĄ đŚđ§đ˘đĽđđđŚ đŞđ˘đ¨đđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đ đ˘đŚđ§ đđ˘đŠđ đ§đ˘ đđ đ đđđ đđĄđ§đ˘ đđ˘đ˘đđŚ?
SO!! MANY!! i could literally keep reading villain origin stories for the rest of my life AND BE GLAD. but lists:
- rumpelstiltskin – a smol man with a ridiculous name jumping around fires singing songs about aforementioned amazing name because he’s so sure no one’s going to guess it. but then he gets angry and falls through the floor when someone guesses it. what if he lands in like a land of evil and swears to come back to haunt the world?? plus. i am slightly desperate for the story behind the name too BECAUSE I’M OBSESSED??
- the cheshire cat – it still counts ok?? he may not exactly be the villain BUT THERE’S HUGE POTENTIAL. like him being able to transform into an evil magician in the dead of night when the rest of the world is asleep and working on stealing the moon because it’s nice like that. PLUS THINK OF ALL THE SECRETS HE MIGHT BE ABLE TO COLLECT AS A CAT. he could literally destroy the world and steal all the cakes and eat people’s brains AND NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW. fun stuff.
đŞđđđđ đđ˘đ˘đ đđđŚ đ§đđđđĄ đŹđ˘đ¨ đŚđ˘đ¨đ, đđ¨đ§ đđ§, đ§đđđĄ đ§đđĽđ˘đŞđĄ đđ§ đđĄđ§đ˘ đ đŚđ¨đŁđđĽđĄđ˘đŠđ đđĄđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đŚđ§đđđ đđđđđ đŹđ˘đ¨đĽ đŚđ˘đ¨đ đđŤđŁđđ˘đđđĄđ đđĄ đ§đđđ§ đŚđ¨đŁđđĽđĄđ˘đŠđ?
the seven husbands of everlyn hugo. EVERYONE SAYING THE BOOK IS PERFECTION?? THEY’RE WRONG. it’s kind of like the best thing on the planet multipled by 87216721 and wrapped in gorgeousness with FREAKISHLY AMAZING abilities of aforementioned soul cutting and supernova creation. maybe it’s secretly a thief and steals people’s souls and lives off of them.
đđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đđ˘đ¨đđ đ đđđ§ đŹđ˘đ¨đĽ đđđŠđ˘đ¨đĽđđ§đ đđ¨đ§đđ˘đĽ đđĄđ đđđŠđ đđ¨đŚđ§ đą đŚđđđ˘đĄđđŚ đ§đ˘ đŚđđŹ đŚđ˘đ đđ§đđđĄđ đ§đ˘ đ§đđđ , đŞđđđ§ đŞđ˘đ¨đđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đŚđđŹ? (đŹđđŚ đâđ đŠđđĽđŹ đđĽđ¨đđ đđđđ đ§đđđ§, đĄđ˘ đŞđĽđđ§đ§đđĄ đ đđŚđŚđđđđŚ, đŚđđđĄ đđđĄđđ¨đđđđŚ đđ§đ)
i’m glad you think so highly of me to actually assume i would even say anything. I LIKE THIS. but look. you’ve got it all wrong. i would probably die of immense levels of excitement combined with nerves and the inability to form coherent thoughts. MY MOUTH STOPS WORKING LIKE THAT SOMETIMES.
đŞđđđ§âđŚ đŹđ˘đ¨đĽ đđđŠđ˘đĽđđ§đ đđđĄđĽđ đ§đ˘ đĽđđđ đđĄđ đŞđđđ§ đđ˘đ˘đ đŞđ˘đ¨đđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đĽđđđ˘đ đ đđĄđ đđĽđ˘đ đŚđđđ đđđĄđĽđ?
FANTASY. FANTASY IS MY LIFE AND DISCOVERING MAGIC IS MY BIGGEST DREAM OF EVER AND I WISH TO FLY SOMEDAY AND YOU NEED MAGIC FOR THAT.
i keep my life from crumbling by devouring all the fantasy of ever. it’s seriously helpful for all of my future dreams too (BECAUSE EXPERIENCE, SEE??) and also a lot of fun. i secretly wish to rule the world someday SO IT’S REALLY NICE FOR THAT TOO, RIGHT?? no one can ever say fantasy is useless anymore HA!
i could recommend SO MANY fantasy books, the sheer length of the list would be ridiculous and might give someone a heart attack. i’m nice though, and don’t do the heart attack part too often so we can just go with a book (or, like, two?) i haven’t mentioned for any of the other questions in the post. BECAUSE REPETITION IS ANNOYING.
- strange the dreamer – the writing is GORGEOUSNESS AND YOU SHALL FALL IN LOVE WITH IT. plus lazlo is the most precious little bean to ever grace the planet and has a broken nose because he walked into a bookshelf while reading and a book of fairytales fell on said nose. BEST NOSE BACKSTORY OF EVER OKAY??
- city of shattered light – technically this is sci-fi but SHHH. REBELLIOUSNESS, AM I RIGHT?? it features a bi-sexual love triangle and an heiress on the run from her evil dad, who accidentally befriends riven (gun smuggler and the most amazing badass queen of ever) and they travel through requiem where the a day lasts for 9848734437 hours (i don’t remember the exact number?) with VERY HIGH STAKES AND BUCKETLOADS OF EVILNESS. they kind of have a thing for trouble.
đ˘đĄđ đ§đđđĄđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đŞđ˘đ¨đđ đđđđ đ§đ˘ đŚđđŹ đ§đ˘ đŁđđ˘đŁđđ đŞđđ˘ đđ˘ đĄđ˘đ§ đđđđ đĽđđđđđĄđ đđ˘đ˘đđŚ?
i could be evil and ramble about how they’ve never experienced life and NEED TO DEVOUR ALL THE WORDS. but i’m nice sometimes. so i won’t. because something else might have stolen their life like books have stolen mine and i really love that. it’s nice either way AND I’LL BE NICE ABOUT IT.
đ đđ˘đ˘đ đŹđ˘đ¨ đ§đđđĄđ đđŚ đ˘đŠđđĽđĽđđ§đđ?
cAn i MAKe LiSts?
- the book thief – DON’T BRING IN THE SWORDS YET. i devoured a 500 page book in a day okay?? SO OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN SEE I WAS HOPELESSLY OBSESSED. the idea of death being a narrator was FREAKISHLY EXCITING AND I GET EXCITED LIKE THAT SOMETIMES. plus the end was tragic and i LOVE TRAGIC ENDINGS but i… didn’t shed a tear?? i thought something was wrong with me for a long time BUT THEN I REALIZED I CRY OVER MUCH LESS SAD BOOKS THAN THAT, so obviously the real problem was me not liking the book enough (SHHHH the alternative is worse) I STILL LOVE ROSA HUBBERMAN THOUGH. SHE IS MY IDOL AND I WORSHIP HER.
- miss peregrine’s home for peculiar children – i’ve been screaming too much about this recently, so maybe just go read that. basically the characters are idiots and everything sucks.
- cinder – passionately hating cinder was kind of the biggest part of my personality last year. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO… ORDINARY?? AND WHY DOES NO ONE WEAR MASKS?? OR LIKE, QUARANTINE OR WHATEVER??? WHAT’S WITH ALL THE DUMBNESS, PEOPLES
- the hunger games – the characters are all so flat and i kind of hated it all?? PLUS PEETA IS TERRIBLE AND I REALLY REALLY WISH TO KILL HIM. he annoys me, ok?? PEOPLE SHOULDN’T DO THAT. although i am obsessed with the mockingbirds and wish to adopt them someday. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE WE CAN GET MOCKINGBIRDS FOR KIDNAPPING PURPOSES??
- the false prince – people scream about this AND I GOT EXCITED OKAY?? but then i read it and the pages ended and THE STORY WAS SO DULL?? i saw that plot twist from a mile away (I’M HIGHLY PROUD OF THE FACT) AND I HATE SAGE. and also everyone else.
- caraval – annoying, personality-lacking protagonists whose greatest aim in life is to ‘save-my-sister-whom-i-love-greater-than-life’ DON’T SIT WELL WITH ME.
đđ˘đ˘đ(đŚ) đŹđ˘đ¨ đđđĄđ đŹđ˘đ¨đĽđŚđđđ đĽđđđ˘đ đ đđĄđđđĄđ đ§đ˘ đŁđđ˘đŁđđ?
- six of crows – SHHHHH. IT’S FINE. I SHALL BE NICE AND TRY TO KEEP MYSELF CALM!! BUT YOU ALSO KNOW THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE SO STAWP, OKAY?? i’m currently obsessing over nina and matthias and random things in life remind me of the water and ice quote.
- not my problem – i’m preeeeeetty sure i’ve actually succeeded in all the bribing threats with this one. okay so i MAY have screamed too much about it and led to bombardment of people’s dms,, but I AM NICE LIKE THAT, OKAY?? i did you guys a favor. YOU GOT A NEW BOOK TO OBSESS OVER ISN’T THAT THE BEST??
- the traitor’s game – kestra’s the queen of badass. I DO NOT LIE. plus there’s like deliciously drak magic and snow and evilness and all the medieval things and secrets and smol amounts of stabbing AND ALSO SWORDS. DID I MENTION THERE’S NICE FOOD TOO SOMETIMES?? and people try to kill each other a lot. it’s nice like that.
- the raven boys – THE WRITING IS GORGEOUS AND WE MUST STEAL GANSEY’S JOURNAL AND GO ON THE-QUEST-TO-KIDNAP-GLENDOWER AND ALSO MEET BLUE AND ADOPT HER.
- percy jackson – i need to convince all the people to be on the lookout for riptide for me okay?? and we must all love percy jackson and laugh over him being sassy to the god of the underworld. basic necessities of life. I’M JUST BEING NICE AND HELPING PEOPLE OVER HERE.
- the lesbiana’s guide to catholic school – okay. i shall admit it. THIS BOOK IS MAINLY ON HERE JUST SO I CAN SCREAM ABOUT IT A LITTLE. it’s my new favorite and i never got around to drafting a may wrap up AND THEREFORE DIDN’T GET ALL THE SCREAMING OPPORTUNITIES. but people need to read this. LIKE, DESPERATELY NEED TO READ THIS. there’s the fact that i’m standing over you with an axe just hanging there like that. and my hand might slip and it might land on your neck. ALSO. YOU NEED IT. TRUST ME. (plus i may be a smol bit desperate for someone to scream over it with?? but MINOR DETAILS, am i right??)
đŞđđđ§ đđĽđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đđ¨đĽđĽđđĄđ§đđŹ đĽđđđđđĄđ?
so many books actually. I BROKE ALL THE RECORDS BY READING ONLY ONE BOOK AT A TIME FOR AN ENTIRE (!!!!!!) MONTH, but then my life fell apart a little this month and all the records got fixed again. SAD STUFF.
- ace of spades – i’m buddy reading this with THE AMAZING SUHANI and it’s actually RIDICULOUSLY ADDICTING?? someone needs to tell the book HOW I STILL HAVE SCHOOL GOING ON AND NOT TO TORTURE ME LIKE THAT
- wilder girls – the cover was delicious and fascinating and also a little horrifying. I COULD NOT RESIST, OK?? except the book isn’t proving to live up to the cover and i currently am just trying my best to decide whether the overly descriptive scereny is atmospheric or highly boring. there’s slight threat of a looming existential crisis because INDECISION.
- under the whispering door – which i am buddy reading with the QUEEN RACHEL, but am humiliatingly behind on BECAUSE I PROCRASTINATE WITH PHYSICAL COPIES OF BOOKS SOMETIMES??
- siren queen – it says magic and old hollywood AND I BECAME A LITTLE DESPERATE.
đŞđđđ§ đđŚ đ§đđ đđ˘đ˘đ đ§đđđ§ đđ˘đ§ đŹđ˘đ¨ đđĄđ§đ˘ đĽđđđđđĄđ?
it was matilda AND IT WAS MAGICAL!! it’s actually very weird how school is the one responsible for me being me and therefore a bookworm, because i read matilda for a homework project and THEN began my history as an all-conquering bookworm. i do not like giving school credit like that.
buuuuut. it was sad how i couldn’t lift things with my eyes and scare people. i still try sometimes. it never works. maybe i’m not a matilda descendant or something after all. ELEVEN LUCKED OUT THOUGH. UNFAIR STUFF.
đĄđđ đ đ§đđ đđđĽđŚđ§ đ§đđĽđđ đđ˘đ˘đđŚ đ§đđđ§ đđ˘đ đ đ§đ˘ đŹđ˘đ¨đĽ đ đđĄđ! đŞđ˘đ¨đđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đĽđđđ˘đ đ đđĄđ đ§đđđ ?
- not my problem – YES PLEASE. if you haven’t read it yet, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE, SMOL OLIVE OF MINE?? THIS BOOK IS LIFE. it’s hilarious and amazing and brilliant and AIDEEN IS THE BEST EVER and kavi deserves THE WORLD and. YOU NEED THIS. shooo now. GO FALL IN LOVE WITH IT AND THEN COME SCREAM WITH ME LATER.
- six of crows – HA. HAHAHAHAHA. i possibly might not have a life right now?? because six of crows was rude and stole it. BUT I SOMEHOW STILL LOVE IT TO THE MOON AND BACK AND THEN TO THE MILKYWAY AND BACK AND THEN BACK TO THE MILKY WAY AGAIN AND JUST CONTINUE THIS LIKE 89267126521562156 TIMES MORE AND REPEAT TILL THE NUMBERS END.
- i kissed shara wheeler – possibly one of the best thing to ever grace the planet in all of EVER?? i love it, basically. ALSO ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE BASASS AND AMAZING AND EVIL AND DID I MENTION AMAZING?? THEY ONCE DROVE AROUND TOWN COLLECTING ALL THE MOZARELLA STICKS AND THEN RANKED THEM BASED ON TASTE AND HOW WAS I NOT INVITED??
đđ˘ đŹđ˘đ¨ đđđđ đđĽđđđĄ đ˘đđđŠđđŚ đ˘đĽ đđđđđ đ˘đđđŠđđŚ đ đ˘đĽđ, đ˘đĽ đđ˘ đŹđ˘đ¨ (đđđđ đ đ) đ¤đ¨đđđ§đđŹ đ đđĄđđ¨đŠđđĽ đđđ§đđđĽ đ˘đ đ§đđđ đ§đ˘ đđĽđđđĄđđŚâ đŁđđđ§đđŚ đŞđđđĄđđŠđđĽ đ§đđđŹ đđđđĄđ˘đ¨đŚđđŹ đđŁđŁđđđĽ đđĄ đŹđ˘đ¨đĽ đŚđđđđ?
look. i’m seriously considering stealing all of your books right now, naemi. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?? #BETRAYAL. but shhhh it’s fine. i shall forgive you. EXCEPT I’M STILL TAKING THOSE BOOKS.
green olives. GREEN OLIVES (and also the books) ARE MY LIFE. AND THEY’RE DELICIOUS (TASTE THEM) plus i also rule their world, so?? like?? except i am madly in love with the black ones too. when they’re in the salad. i usually end up stealing all of them and then get screamed at for stealing my sister’s. THE WORLD IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THAT. i get all the olives obviously. MY SISTER HAVING THEM INSTEAD MAKES NO SENSE.
đ§đđ˘đ¨đđđ§đŚ đ˘đĄ đ§đđ đđ˘đđ˘đ¨đĽ đ˘đđđŠđ?
IT’S AMAZING AND MY THIRD MOST FAVORITE THING IN LIFE. makes me wonder what i was thinking while designing this blog. WHY DID NO ONE EVER SCREAM AT ME ABOUT THIS?? #rude
i also really like blue sometimes. BUT IT’S A WELL KNOWN FACT THAT OLIVES RULE OBVIOUSLY. MY BAD.
đđđđđ¨đŚđ đ đđ đđŠđđ, đđđ˘đ˘đŚđ: đđ˘đ˘đđŚ đ˘đĽ đ˘đđđŠđđŚ?
ash, have i ever told you how much i hate you?? BECAUSE GOSHDARNIT I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT MORE OFTEN. THIS IS CRUEL AND NO I SHALL NOT ALLOW THIS TYPE OF EVILNESS WHILE I RULE THE WORLD. YOU’RE BANISHED. *
(it’s books. you all know it’s book. BUT I STILL LOVE YOU, MY OLIVES. I SHALL FOREVER BE LOYAL LIKE THAT. except when it comes to books or inej ghafa SORRY)
* KIDDING, OKAY?? I LOVE YOU AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’D DO WITHOUT YOU.
đ˘đđđŠđđŚ đ˘đĄ đŁđđđđ đ˘đĽ đđĄ đŁđđŚđ§đ?
PIZZA!! i am not the biggest fan of black olives (SHHH DONT WORRY, I STILL LOVE YOUU) but they taste ridiculously AMAZING in pizza and salads?? IT’S CRUEL HOW THE WORLD WORKS. and also weird but SHHH. whatever.
oh and pizza?? i kind of eat it only for the olives sometimes. THEY’RE THE BEST PART OBVIOUSLY. bonus points if said pizza is spicy. BUT NEVERMIND. let’s stop. you only asked about the olives. i forget sometimes.
đđĽđ đŹđ˘đ¨ đ đđđđđ đ˘đđđŠđ đ˘đĽ đ đđĽđđđĄ đ˘đđđŠđ?
THIS IS POSSIBLY MY MOST FAVORITE QUESTION OF EVER, AND I SHALL GLADLY GIVE UP WORLD DOMINATION FOR WHOEVER THOUGHT OF IT (but also NO)!! (amazing person behind aforementioned MOST FAVORITE QUESTION OF EVER was anushka by the way, and I SHALL FOREVER BE LOYAL, PROMISE) i’m a green olive. the whole kind. and i look like this:
except greener and with eyes and a face. and also hands and legs and a book. that kind of stuff.
look. i know how there’s still 727262 questions i havenât yet answered BUT IâM NOT IGNORING YOU / BEING RUDE AS IS MY HABIT, OKAY?? youâre probably already asleep reading this ridiculousness of overused words SO IâM BEING KIND. there shall be a part 2 where i explain the origins of my evilness. and all the other stuff. BYE NOW.
now tell me your story!! ARE YOU A GREEN OLIVE OR A BLACK OLIVE?? FAVORITES AMONG THE OLIVES?? what’s a book that made you cry?? I NEED ALL YOUR WEAKNESSES OVER HERE, OKAY?? books you think are overrated?? CHARACTERS YOU DREAM OF SOME DAY MURDERING??? first book you ever remember reading?? I NEED ANSWERS, PEOPLE
Ok so, I might get a little hate for this, but I don’t cry much over books. I mean, I obviously feel sad about whatever depressing stuff happened, but I don’t cry much. I have though, cried ONCE. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Sirius’ death. I cried for 10 mins straight. Might not seem much to you, but it is to me.
Books I think are overrated… idk!!!!! I’m not going to answer this one, bc the books I have read have always lived up to my expectations, thankfully.
Characters I dreamed of murdering… 1. Umbridge 2. Octavian 3. Pretty much every antagonist from every book I’ve read.
First book I ever remember reading is Hour of the Olympics from Magic Tree House series by Mary Pope Osborne.
ASDFGHJKL HAVE YOU /FINALLY/ POSTED THIS?? OR ARE MY EYES DECEIVING ME??
–i really want to read we are okay because it made you cRY AND I DIDN’T THINK A BOOK HAD EVER DONE THAT??
–omg charlotte’s web was my FAVOURITE in 3rd grade, i swear i cried at the end
–i’m very politely going to ignore that false prince & caraval are on the ‘overrated’ list and go on with my merry life (bUT HOW DARE YOU??)
–and yesss i’m so glad you answered my question ahahahaha AND BOOKS >>>>> OLIVES FOR LIFE OK?
first book i remember reading was the peter and jane reader for school lol.
me obsessing over going to camp half blood when the rest of civilization was worried about tests??
DID YOU JUST READ MY MIND????!!
Also OMG YOU DIDN’T LIKE THE BOOK THIEF?! THAT’S JUST LIKE MY FAVOURITE OF ALL TIMEE. LIKE RUDY, LIESEL AND MAX *sobs at the memory*
And man, Peeta is niiiiiceeee. For all, I’d prolly wish he didn’t end up with katniss. Coz Katniss sureee doesn’t deserve him
THIS POST IS AMAZING THO!!!!
I actually like positive mentality books like ” what are you doing with your life”. or this is not the end of the world so in my case i don’t like fantasy so there is no hero , no villain , but I liked Harry Potter very much . So if I get chance to talk to J K Rowling I only will only congratulate her for her excellent work. Well shared đđŽ
that one book that gets into reading is always magical, agreed! I’m so excited to read Lesbiana’s Guide its on my tbr list for the summer! What a fun blog post <3
June 20: I think I have finally given up hope about the answers being posted. I should understand that refreshing my reader again and again doesn’t rain olives at times.
June 22: Today, got some very nice comments on my blog. Wait, wait wait, this, this is olive? Olive is…back?
AAAAAAAAAAAA You finally wrote this post. As much as rudeness goes, this post was certainly rude enough to not appear earlier. Now, you have written it though, get some water and CALM MA’AM. What was I thinking of course you’ve given a machete in the hands of my TBR, again.
You just burnt Shakespeare and yes, I agree. Romeo and Juliet were dumb overdramatic kids who needed too get a GRIP on themselves.
How were you so nice to the people who dislike reading books? Sus
That is a very nice picture of you there, I love your other green friends in that bowl(?)
Okay now for the discussion prompts: (Literally no one cares but shut this is my comment I will write an epic what will you do)
I’m a black olive (yes with purple hair streaks, the whole goth look)
A book that made me cry (excluding Harry Potter and Percy Jackson) was The Maze Runner series. Seriously who does that to kids? Who? Also Fahrenheit 451 not because it is particularly sad but because it is so beautiful. (I am not kidding)
Overrated books: The Great Gatsby (the entire novel is the narrator judging people and some sense gets knocked into it only in the last three chapters)
Heartless by Marissa Meyer (I had great expectations from this cause I heard about it a lot, turns out to be a clichĂŠ out of place-girl-falls-in-love-with-fun-guy)
Caraval (It sucks I agree)
Characters I will murder:
Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter (duh)
Zeus in Percy Jackson (yes I kill gods now)
First book I ever remember reading was some book from Enid Blyton I guess?
Oh also excellent post, cruel, fun, very screamy 10/10
(Exeunt)
This was such a fun read! I loved Not My Problem so I’m so glad to hear you loved it just as much as I Kissed Shara Wheeler and The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo are both on my tbr. Thank you so much for sharing, I really enjoyed reading this!
AHHHH, ANOUSHKA, I LOVE THIS Q&A SO MUCH!!! 𤊠In fact, I may have already read it yesterday but just couldn’t find the time to comment everything I wanted to say – and I still can’t, so you’re only getting excerpts đ
But Charlotte’s Web!! đ¤ŠđĽ°đ¤Š That book was one of my big childhood favorites, too, and I sobbed sooooo hard over Charlotte. Forget Wilbur – while I did want a pig after my parents read the book to me, I thought Charlotte was a million times cooler! And got even more furious at people who would swat spiders as a result – they were killing innocent beings like Charlotte!! đ¤đĄđđĄđ¤
As for Rumpelstiltkin, I can help you out there đ The story is German (obviously, it’s a Grimm’s fairy-tale), and the original name of that character is Rumpelstilzchen (it’s just that English speakers apparently cannot pronounce this for the life of them, so they ended up with Rumpelstiltskin đ). But yeah “rumpel”=’to make a loud sound, like clanging or rumbling’, “stilz”=’form of a German verb that means to prance around’, “chen”=’ending that you can add to nouns to form a diminutive form’ – so basically, the name just means ‘little loud creature who prances around’, which is actually VERY accurate of you ask me đ
Also, while I agree with you on Miss Peregrineâs, as previously established, YOU ARE HEINOUSLY WRONG ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES!! THEY ARE ABSOLUTE PERFECTION!! 𼰠(Well, the series is, not the Games themselves đ ) But if you don’t like them, maybe don’t steal my books as vengeance for my olive opinions… Cause, you know, The Hunger Games novels are part of
that collection đ (Also, wouldn’t you rather have my olives instead? Because I would very graciously let you take them!)
I so love the length of your posts. Long posts are fun and perfect đđ I certainly enjoyed getting all your secrets too… but Peeta from The Hunger Games. I can’t believe you don’t like him. I have only watch the movies so I don’t know what the books are like, but I always loved him! He was sweet and I loved his subtle moves throughout the series! đ
I can’t believe you tried to adopt a spider. The power of books. I am sorry to hear there was no writing in the web. Reality is always a let down after books đ Sadly, I am more of the clichĂŠ and hate spiders. Like have they made me cry in the past? yes. do i know why? no. đ¤Łđ
I. NEED. TO. READ. THE LESBIANA’S. GUIDE. TO. CATHOLIC. SCHOOL. I already loved the premise and yours is the first review I’ve seen!! It sounds amazing and I need it! đ
Yeah, The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo made me cry too. But, what a book?!?! I am soooo excited for the film adaptation. It better not let us down!
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post and all your wonderful personality & screaming!! âŁď¸âŁď¸âŁď¸
ANOUSHKA AHHHH THIS THUMBNAIL IS STUNNING??? I AM IN LOVE ALREADY!!! AND YES I WILL BLAME ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS ON THE EXAMS THEYâRE TOO ABOMINABLE FOR THEIR OWN GOOD!
Ahh *some* of my friends read but they all have VASTLY different opinions compared to mine (they like the selection and coho books so you can see what Iâm dealing with here-) BUT HEY YOUR SISTER READS??? THAT HAS TO COUNT RIGHT??? (weâll just kindly ignore the spoilers part)
HAGRID NEVER CAME TO MY DOOR TOO BUT IâLL BE WAITING FOR AT LEAST A TEN MORE YEARS FOR MY HOGWARTS LETTER UNTIL I GIVE UP. And omg may I join in you in taking over the world??? (AND RANSACKING BOOKSTORES AND HOARDING CHOCOLATE)
HMMMM ANOUSHKA WE ALL KNOW YOU CRIED OVER I KISSED SHARA WHEELER SHHH DONâT LIE. AND OMG YES EVELYN HUGO!!! THAT BOOK WAS ABSOLUTELY SOB WORTHY AND I JUST COULD NOT PROCESS ANYTHING AFTER READING IT!! (bad idea finishing it while in the school bus hah-)
KAZ!!! KAZ IS BRILLIANT!!! AND SO IS NINA, INEJ, WYLAN, JESPER AND MATTHIAS AKSJSIDI
OMG KAVI IS ACTUALLY THE BEST IâM STILL WAITING FOR CIARA SMYTH TO SOLELY DEDICATE A SINGLE BOOK JUST FOR HIM!! *cough* You can add terrell to the list of fictional characters youâd like to kill now *cough* AHHH STRANGE THE DREAMER!!! AHHH MY FRIEND GAVE ME HER COPY AND IâM SO EXCITED TO READ IT!!!
No you did not just say the book thief is overrated GOODBYE- NO NO NO YOU DID NOT JUST ADD THE HUNGER GAMES AND CINDER TO THAT LIST TOO??? ANOUSHKA THIS OPINION IS INVALID. But okay yes Peeta SUCKS, movie peeta was particularly the worst arghh.
Oooh ace of spades!!! Letâs just not acknowledge the ending, shall we??? AND I NEED SIREN QUEEN NOW!!!
EEEEW GREEN OLIVES ARE DISGUSTING SHHHH WE BELIEVE IN BLACK OLIVE SUPREMACY ONLY!!!! *gasp* DID YOU CHOOSE BOOKS OVER OLIVES???? As you should HAHAHA
LOVED THIS SO MUCH!!!! Also, Iâm SO SORRY FOR COMMENTING SO LATE!!! đ
HOW DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO FIND YOUR BLOG? (And also apologies for not reading it sooner, I was on vacation and had no access to blogging for a whole 2 days because life is mean like that sometimes) I PROBABLY JUST USED WAY TOO MUCH OF MY TIME TO READ THAT WHOLE POST BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT I LOVE YOUR POSTS SO MUCH.
But anywho. First of all, do you need help murdering Peeta and Romeo and Juliet (nevermind the fact that romeo and juliet are already dead)? Because I’m up for it. Peeta is so weird and unrealistic and euruhiarguhgogahjfrhaetojrfhrfje (he’s creepy too like who watches someone walk home every single day after school?). And ROMEO WAS IN LOVE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE FOR LIKE THREE SECONDS AND THEN HE GOES AND DIES FOR A GIRL HE MET LITERALLY LIKE FIVE DAYS AGO. WHO DOES THAT???
Aaaand I will never stop gushing about Six of Crows and Strange the Dreamer because WHO COULD? Best. Books. Ever.
Aaaaand (this is such a long comment whoopsies) you just added so many books to my gigantic TBR, so THANKS A LOT.
Aaaand I’ll stop now cause you probably have better things to do with your life than read my comment, but like. Yeah.
Ahh I loved reading all your answers!! I usually donât cry over books that often but I miiiiight have cried over the trials of apolloâŚ..several timesâŚ..Iâm too attached.
I enjoyed your answers to the questions. I enjoy fantasy once in a while.
ahh this was such a fun post to read! i cry surprisingly easily while reading books, idk man something about a good contemporary just hits the right spots for me đ¤â the first book i remember reading is probably the Panchatantra before bed when i was 5 lmao đ
loved reading this post and getting to know you more!! oh and YES TO BOOKS ON RUMPELSTILTSKIN i absolutely love him and would read all the books about him.
“characters that are amazing little beans and are ridiculously hilarious and thus have THE BEST NARRATION OF EVER and i immediately wish to befriend.” — The Bachelor’s Valet by Arden Powell!! the main character is the MOST OBLIVIOUS and cute and adorable and has no care in the world except his tiny crush on his valet and the characters around him (including the valet) kinda give up on his intelligence but also love him like hOW CAN YOU NOT he’s a golden retriever basically!! you should read it.
YAY MORE CHOCOLATES???? this isn’t going to be good for my waistline!
regarding #2, i really don’t think i’d last long in a fantasy world at all. i mean, i’d love to visit and i have so many favs but i’d die straight away. and no flushing toilets? how will i wipe myself??? đđ
as someone who doesn’t cry when reading (i mean, very rarely), i’m taking notes of those books so i can read them on a weekend.
HEY — re #10, did you know that gilded by marissa meyer is a rumple retelling?? admittedly, she gets help from rumplestiltskin rather than being him reimagined. but still, amazing. 10/10, would recommend.
ALSO, if you read gilded and don’t like it, proceed to forget i suggested it đđ pretend goodreads told you to read it. (but seriously, i did love it and won’t be offended if you don’t. just thought to share the rumple retellings bc there’s like none)
this post is SO CHAOTIC but also i LOVE your energy??? i’m gonna read not my problem asap now and you like lesbiana’s guide to catholic school, that’s taste!!! i really hope you like the rest of ace of spades đđ
Loved all of your words – all 4000. You’re so very entertaining to read! And you appreciate Kaz as he should be appreciated, so there’s that.
the six of crows love is STRONG in this post and i’m living for it!!!! also omg the boy who steals houses is SO underrated??? i sobbed so much reading that book (and her debut a thousand perfect notes) so i WISH it got more praise. also a villain story about the Cheshire cat??????? you’re an absolute GENIUS. i would do anything for that!!! wonderful post anoushka, i adored reading it!!