remember that one time we talked about living in fantasy worlds and chasing dragons and finally accomplishing our life-long dreams of world domination?
and then we celebrated the 100 fantasy-like followers with chocolates and promises of secrets. wherein i demanded questions and you all provided, like the good little olives that you are.
after that i proved my loyalty to the olive race by never providing those aforementioned secrets (it was the exams, people, BLAME THE EXAMS) and silently disappearing for a bit (i was drowning under books okay??). however, i have returned with all the secrets in tow (AREN’T YOU PROUD), so everybody SCREAM!!
also apparently you guys are nosy little beans (DON’T WORRY, I STILL LOVE YOU) and thus dumped me with a ton of question (BUT ALSO, i really appreciate it!! because i need all the loyalty from you, the olives, obviously) so its not exactly my fault if this post is L O N G, okay?? no, i don’t mean the usual oops-i-am-obsessed-with-words-and-wrote-2000-words-of-nonsense. It’s more like oh-my-gosh-i-am-in-love-with-words-and-wish-to-drown-under-them-for-the-rest-of-ever kind.
see. maybe i wrote a mini novella okay?? maybe this post is 4,000 words long.
I SAID MAYBE!!!
*also, all the AMAZING OLIVES who typed out all the questions have been linked back in the image above each question, SO CLICK THE LINKS PEOPLE*
𝗗𝗢 𝗔𝗡𝗬 𝗢𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗜𝗥𝗟 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗?
…no. at least not that i know of. of course, they could be simultaneously living a secret life where the olives rule the skies and the people fight alongside dragons and have been known to devour entire libraries in a single lifetime, but i wouldn’t know. because ‘secrets’, remember?? but also. how could someone resist screeching over dragons and kaz brekker and gorgeous writing and ketterdam, when i am RIGHT HERE, gushing over it?? I WOULD KNOW. not-screaming requires great amounts of effort and self-control sometimes. I WOULD KNOW, OKAY?? especially after the insane amounts of effort i put into not doing aforementioned screaming each day. I AM EXPERIENCED LIKE THAT.
𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧’𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗦𝗧 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗟𝗗 𝗧𝗢 𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗜𝗡?
possibly the one where you get killed 5 seconds after arriving.
which is maybe every single fantasy world of ever. because, like, monsters are powerful, all right?? they have sharp teeth and torturing people is their life-long dream and biggest purpose in life (WHICH IS WHAT THE LACK OF WORDS IN YOUR LIFE DOES TO YOU. maybe we need to teach the monsters how to read). plus, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW SWORD FIGHTING IF YOU GET DUMPED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT, WITH AN ENTIRE CIRCLE OF MINOTAURS SURROUNDING YOU?? you must befriend them, THAT IS KEY.
yes, so maybe consider befriending the bad people and you might survive. or you could also befriend percy and steal the sword and bring it to me and i might agree to help protect you. MIGHT. i have other much more important things to do obviously (LIKE RANSACKING ALL THE LIBRARIES OF THE WHOLE WORLD) but maybe get a few olives too and i might consider it.
shhh, don’t rebel!! i shall answer the question! PATIENCE, PEOPLE. but okay, you probably wouldn’t want to stumble upon the nikara empire in your dream-like fantasies, because that shall only end in blood and war and carnage. and you might have to say goodbye to all the humans.
𝗗𝗜𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗞 ‘𝗔𝗠 𝗜 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗥𝗔𝗭𝗬 𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗕𝗘𝗖𝗔𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝗡𝗢 𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗘𝗟𝗦𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗦 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗦 𝗔𝗦 𝗠𝗨𝗖𝗛 𝗔𝗦 𝗜 𝗗𝗢’ 𝗨𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗟 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗢𝗦𝗣𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘?
HA! NO. was i not clear all the many, MANY times when i declared my title as QUEEN OF THE OLIVES?? i rule the world!! the books bow to me, and so do the undeserving mortals. they’re the weird ones for not dreaming sweet dreams of LIVING IN KETTERDAM. HOW DO PEOPLE EVEN LIVE LIKE THAT??? the world is ridiculous sometimes.
but also…. yes. SOMETIMES. me obsessing over going to camp half blood when the rest of civilization was worried about tests?? me bawling when hagrid never came to the door on my eleventh birthday?? I HAVE VAGUE MEMORIES.
plus, missing out on all the (supossed) fun and instead spending time running around libraries wasn’t exactly considered the best by most people. BUT SHHHH WHO CARES, AM I RIGHT??
i have ketterdam now and i shall one day rule the world. life is nice like that.
𝗔 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗗𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗨𝗚𝗟𝗬 𝗖𝗥𝗬?
HA. how naive of you to assume i am human enough to actually cry? over BOOKS?? was i not clear the 78363872 times i mentioned how i am a soulless being with a black heart carved of the darkest stone, which is filled with poison and darkness and all things black?? i am evil and i am also queen and i dream of destroying the world sometimes and i kill without mercy and – OKAY SEE, BOOKS MAKE ME SOB SOMETIMES.
they’re rude like that. but i like to think i’m better than the tears and thus shall create a list for infliction of further torture UPON WHOEVER WAS BOLD ENOUGH TO ASK THIS EVIL QUESTION. (IT WAS MAYA, BY THE WAY)
- we are okay by nina lacour – it’s normal and COMPLETELY ALRIGHT for people to bawl over words at 2 in the night okay?? especially when books like this one exist. it was evil and it slightly destroyed me. then i cried.
- the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid – rollercoasters make people cry sometimes. especially when said rollercoaster comes in the form of gorgeous masterpieces such as this book. it’s basically words and stories and THE UNIVERSE woven into pieces of perfection.
- the boy who steals houses by c.g. drews – i was in india and it was midnight and the world was alseep and i was sobbing. THE ENDING WAS TORTUROUS OKAY?? sammy is my smol little bean AND HE IS AMAZING AND DESERVES THE WORLD. WHY WILL PEOPLE NOT GIVE IT TO HIM??
𝗔 𝗡𝗢𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗟𝗚𝗜𝗖 / 𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗟𝗗𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗗 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗜𝗦𝗡’𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗬 𝗣𝗢𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗢𝗥 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗬 𝗝𝗔𝗖𝗞𝗦𝗢𝗡?
charlotte’s web!! it was perhaps the first ever novel i read and FELL IN LOVE WITH. and then re-read so many times i practically knew it by-heart. plus, I WAS OBSESSED WITH SPIDERS AFTER THAT?? and i once adopted a pet spider and named it charlotte but then it didn’t write any W O R D S on its web the next morning, which was disappointing and i cried.
aforementioned book is also the sole reason i dream of one day adopting a pet pig named wilbur. maybe we would gush over six of crows together and befriend charlotte and live on an olive farm and survive off of olives. and occasionally go out to roam the bookstores and buy more chocolates but spend the rest of our days reading and screaming and writing and dreaming. ALL THE FUN STUFF.
𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗙𝗔𝗩𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘, 𝗠𝗢𝗦𝗧 𝗙𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗛𝗘𝗗-𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗜𝗡 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥?
this one time i read a book and wanted magic powers. i imagined ants living in the wall above my bed. and they’d come out at night and steal my brain.
they didn’t though. ants are disappointing like that.
so obviously, to cure the disappointment, i bought myself a library with millions of books and swore to spend the rest of my life there.
it didn’t work.
the world is rude sometimes.
that’s when i decided to take my revenge and spend the rest of my life obsessing over book characters instead. it’s been really nice actually.
going to ravka and adopting kaz brekker is a smol dream of mine. he’s also aforementioned favorite, most-fleshed out main character AND GENIUS, BASICALLY?? but i also love inej and choosing is torturous like that.
𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗙𝗔𝗩𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘 𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗣𝗘𝗦 𝗜𝗡 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗦?
HA. HAHAHAHAHAHA – i can currently come up with enough favorites to FILL UP AN ENTIRE POST?? and would also gladly do that BECAUSE SCREAMING ABOUT FAVORITES IS FUN, but also… limited word space is a HUGE problem sometimes. like right now. and throughout this ridiculously long post actually. WHY MUST YOU COUNT WORDS ALL THE TIME?? CAN I NOT SCREAM AS MUCH AS I LIKE?? #rude
but anyway. the tropes:
- characters that are amazing little beans and are ridiculously hilarious and thus have THE BEST NARRATION OF EVER and i immediately wish to befriend. someone write more books with this please?? BECAUSE IT IS THE MOST ABSOLUTE BEST OF EVER AND I FALL IN LOVE WITH IT.
- people who talk too much and their dialogue is quite often ridiculous (BUT THE GOOD KIND) and also the softest people who offer you samosas and explain the story behind them. look. kavi officially got me obsessed with samosas okay?? HE DESERVES TOO MUCH LOVE.
- amazing magic systems with all the dark dark dark stuff and lots of stabbing but also magic and the magic being dangerous and daaaaark. magic is too much FUN and must be allowed to rule the world. WHY DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW THIS ALREADY.
𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗧𝗢 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗟𝗗, 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗜𝗧 𝗕𝗘?
HA. you don’t get to ask me this, okay?? I MIGHT COMBUST FROM INDECISION AND YOU WOULDN’T GET TO EAT OLIVES ANYMORE. but also. i have an answer, because i am amazing like that AND GET TO PROVE MY LOYALTY TO THE CROWS. it’s six of crows, by the way, for any potato-headed olives amongst you WHO WERE STILL WONDERING WHAT THE HELL WE ARE GOING ON ABOUT. the sole book that occupies my entire life. (shhhh, i still love you, raven cycle) and also the key to converting the entire population of the world into hardcore fantasy fans?? #YES. people shall fall in love with it and name everyone kaz brekker and scientists might create ravka someday. maybe we’d even GET TO HOLD FIRE IN OUR HANDS AND BE NINA AND KILL PEOPLE BY FOLDING OUR FINGERS AND EAT ALL THE WAFFLES OF EVER.
𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗞𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗔 𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥, 𝗪𝗛𝗢 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗜𝗧 𝗕𝗘? (𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗜 𝗦𝗪𝗘𝗔𝗥 𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗗𝗢𝗨𝗕𝗟𝗘 𝗠𝗬 𝗧𝗕𝗥 𝗔𝗚𝗔𝗜𝗡)
i shall name 76346534365 for the sole purpose of being rebellious THANK YOU! and also helping said tbr in murder plans because i am evil like that. PLUS MURDER IS FUN OKAY?? YOU GET TO CACKLE EVILLY WHILE CREATING PLANS WHICH IS FUN. the world must cackle more often.
- jacob and Emma (from miss peregrine) for the simple reason that THEY ANNOY ME TO A FREAKISHLY EXTREME LEVEL. jacob keeps whining about having TOO MUCH MONEY (RIDICULOUSNESS) and emma is a disgrace to all the amazing badass characters of EVER. plus they’d both lose in a duel SO KILLING THEM WOULD BE EASY, WHILE ALSO MAKING ME LOOK BRILLIANT AT SWORD-FIGHTING.
- mr. collins from pride and prejudice. see, his murder would be COMPLETELY ACCIDENTAL. he talks too much and 981265154% of it is nonsense infused with even larger levels of mundaneness and not even the INTERESTING kind of nonsense, so it’s not exactly my fault if i end up going insane and drop the knife. accidentally.
- the lass (from sun and moon, ice and snow) because of MANY REASONS, such as: 1) WHO THE HELL NAMES THEIR KID ‘THE LASS’????? 2) she lacks all semblances of personality + is insanely dumb to an umimaginable extent 3) ALSO SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD BY THE END OF THE BOOK, BUT SOMEHOW ISN’T?? (#UNFAIR) 4) DID I MENTION I HATE HER? 5) also SHE NEEDS A BETTER NAME, PEOPLE
- romeo and juliet BECAUSE THE ENTIRE IDEA IS RIDICULOUS. like, we go through 378363256235 words of life-threatening english JUST TO SEE THEM KILL THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY’RE STUPID AND THINK THAT THE OTHER PERSON IS DEAD?? WHY NOT CONSIDER CHECKING PROPERLY OR SOMETHING FIRST?? also did i mention the writing is freakishly HARD?? people need to be saved from the torture SO WHY NOT JUST MURDER THEM IN THE BEGINNING, RIGHT??
𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗖𝗛 𝗩𝗜𝗟𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗡 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗠𝗢𝗦𝗧 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗕𝗘 𝗠𝗔𝗗𝗘 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗢 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗦?
SO!! MANY!! i could literally keep reading villain origin stories for the rest of my life AND BE GLAD. but lists:
- rumpelstiltskin – a smol man with a ridiculous name jumping around fires singing songs about aforementioned amazing name because he’s so sure no one’s going to guess it. but then he gets angry and falls through the floor when someone guesses it. what if he lands in like a land of evil and swears to come back to haunt the world?? plus. i am slightly desperate for the story behind the name too BECAUSE I’M OBSESSED??
- the cheshire cat – it still counts ok?? he may not exactly be the villain BUT THERE’S HUGE POTENTIAL. like him being able to transform into an evil magician in the dead of night when the rest of the world is asleep and working on stealing the moon because it’s nice like that. PLUS THINK OF ALL THE SECRETS HE MIGHT BE ABLE TO COLLECT AS A CAT. he could literally destroy the world and steal all the cakes and eat people’s brains AND NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW. fun stuff.
𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗖𝗛 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗛𝗔𝗦 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗟, 𝗖𝗨𝗧 𝗜𝗧, 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗢𝗪𝗡 𝗜𝗧 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗢 𝗔 𝗦𝗨𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗢𝗩𝗔 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗟 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗟𝗢𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗦𝗨𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗢𝗩𝗔?
the seven husbands of everlyn hugo. EVERYONE SAYING THE BOOK IS PERFECTION?? THEY’RE WRONG. it’s kind of like the best thing on the planet multipled by 87216721 and wrapped in gorgeousness with FREAKISHLY AMAZING abilities of aforementioned soul cutting and supernova creation. maybe it’s secretly a thief and steals people’s souls and lives off of them.
𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗠𝗘𝗘𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗙𝗔𝗩𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘 𝗔𝗨𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗥 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗝𝗨𝗦𝗧 𝟱 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗗𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗦𝗔𝗬 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗢 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠, 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗦𝗔𝗬? (𝗬𝗘𝗦 𝗜’𝗠 𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬 𝗖𝗥𝗨𝗘𝗟 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧, 𝗡𝗢 𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗡 𝗠𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗔𝗚𝗘𝗦, 𝗦𝗜𝗚𝗡 𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗨𝗔𝗚𝗘𝗦 𝗘𝗧𝗖)
i’m glad you think so highly of me to actually assume i would even say anything. I LIKE THIS. but look. you’ve got it all wrong. i would probably die of immense levels of excitement combined with nerves and the inability to form coherent thoughts. MY MOUTH STOPS WORKING LIKE THAT SOMETIMES.
𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧’𝗦 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗙𝗔𝗩𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗘 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗦𝗔𝗜𝗗 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘?
FANTASY. FANTASY IS MY LIFE AND DISCOVERING MAGIC IS MY BIGGEST DREAM OF EVER AND I WISH TO FLY SOMEDAY AND YOU NEED MAGIC FOR THAT.
i keep my life from crumbling by devouring all the fantasy of ever. it’s seriously helpful for all of my future dreams too (BECAUSE EXPERIENCE, SEE??) and also a lot of fun. i secretly wish to rule the world someday SO IT’S REALLY NICE FOR THAT TOO, RIGHT?? no one can ever say fantasy is useless anymore HA!
i could recommend SO MANY fantasy books, the sheer length of the list would be ridiculous and might give someone a heart attack. i’m nice though, and don’t do the heart attack part too often so we can just go with a book (or, like, two?) i haven’t mentioned for any of the other questions in the post. BECAUSE REPETITION IS ANNOYING.
- strange the dreamer – the writing is GORGEOUSNESS AND YOU SHALL FALL IN LOVE WITH IT. plus lazlo is the most precious little bean to ever grace the planet and has a broken nose because he walked into a bookshelf while reading and a book of fairytales fell on said nose. BEST NOSE BACKSTORY OF EVER OKAY??
- city of shattered light – technically this is sci-fi but SHHH. REBELLIOUSNESS, AM I RIGHT?? it features a bi-sexual love triangle and an heiress on the run from her evil dad, who accidentally befriends riven (gun smuggler and the most amazing badass queen of ever) and they travel through requiem where the a day lasts for 9848734437 hours (i don’t remember the exact number?) with VERY HIGH STAKES AND BUCKETLOADS OF EVILNESS. they kind of have a thing for trouble.
𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗦𝗔𝗬 𝗧𝗢 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗪𝗛𝗢 𝗗𝗢 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗦?
i could be evil and ramble about how they’ve never experienced life and NEED TO DEVOUR ALL THE WORDS. but i’m nice sometimes. so i won’t. because something else might have stolen their life like books have stolen mine and i really love that. it’s nice either way AND I’LL BE NICE ABOUT IT.
𝗔 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗞 𝗜𝗦 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗗?
cAn i MAKe LiSts?
- the book thief – DON’T BRING IN THE SWORDS YET. i devoured a 500 page book in a day okay?? SO OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN SEE I WAS HOPELESSLY OBSESSED. the idea of death being a narrator was FREAKISHLY EXCITING AND I GET EXCITED LIKE THAT SOMETIMES. plus the end was tragic and i LOVE TRAGIC ENDINGS but i… didn’t shed a tear?? i thought something was wrong with me for a long time BUT THEN I REALIZED I CRY OVER MUCH LESS SAD BOOKS THAN THAT, so obviously the real problem was me not liking the book enough (SHHHH the alternative is worse) I STILL LOVE ROSA HUBBERMAN THOUGH. SHE IS MY IDOL AND I WORSHIP HER.
- miss peregrine’s home for peculiar children – i’ve been screaming too much about this recently, so maybe just go read that. basically the characters are idiots and everything sucks.
- cinder – passionately hating cinder was kind of the biggest part of my personality last year. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO… ORDINARY?? AND WHY DOES NO ONE WEAR MASKS?? OR LIKE, QUARANTINE OR WHATEVER??? WHAT’S WITH ALL THE DUMBNESS, PEOPLES
- the hunger games – the characters are all so flat and i kind of hated it all?? PLUS PEETA IS TERRIBLE AND I REALLY REALLY WISH TO KILL HIM. he annoys me, ok?? PEOPLE SHOULDN’T DO THAT. although i am obsessed with the mockingbirds and wish to adopt them someday. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE WE CAN GET MOCKINGBIRDS FOR KIDNAPPING PURPOSES??
- the false prince – people scream about this AND I GOT EXCITED OKAY?? but then i read it and the pages ended and THE STORY WAS SO DULL?? i saw that plot twist from a mile away (I’M HIGHLY PROUD OF THE FACT) AND I HATE SAGE. and also everyone else.
- caraval – annoying, personality-lacking protagonists whose greatest aim in life is to ‘save-my-sister-whom-i-love-greater-than-life’ DON’T SIT WELL WITH ME.
𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞(𝗦) 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗢 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘?
- six of crows – SHHHHH. IT’S FINE. I SHALL BE NICE AND TRY TO KEEP MYSELF CALM!! BUT YOU ALSO KNOW THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE SO STAWP, OKAY?? i’m currently obsessing over nina and matthias and random things in life remind me of the water and ice quote.
- not my problem – i’m preeeeeetty sure i’ve actually succeeded in all the bribing threats with this one. okay so i MAY have screamed too much about it and led to bombardment of people’s dms,, but I AM NICE LIKE THAT, OKAY?? i did you guys a favor. YOU GOT A NEW BOOK TO OBSESS OVER ISN’T THAT THE BEST??
- the traitor’s game – kestra’s the queen of badass. I DO NOT LIE. plus there’s like deliciously drak magic and snow and evilness and all the medieval things and secrets and smol amounts of stabbing AND ALSO SWORDS. DID I MENTION THERE’S NICE FOOD TOO SOMETIMES?? and people try to kill each other a lot. it’s nice like that.
- the raven boys – THE WRITING IS GORGEOUS AND WE MUST STEAL GANSEY’S JOURNAL AND GO ON THE-QUEST-TO-KIDNAP-GLENDOWER AND ALSO MEET BLUE AND ADOPT HER.
- percy jackson – i need to convince all the people to be on the lookout for riptide for me okay?? and we must all love percy jackson and laugh over him being sassy to the god of the underworld. basic necessities of life. I’M JUST BEING NICE AND HELPING PEOPLE OVER HERE.
- the lesbiana’s guide to catholic school – okay. i shall admit it. THIS BOOK IS MAINLY ON HERE JUST SO I CAN SCREAM ABOUT IT A LITTLE. it’s my new favorite and i never got around to drafting a may wrap up AND THEREFORE DIDN’T GET ALL THE SCREAMING OPPORTUNITIES. but people need to read this. LIKE, DESPERATELY NEED TO READ THIS. there’s the fact that i’m standing over you with an axe just hanging there like that. and my hand might slip and it might land on your neck. ALSO. YOU NEED IT. TRUST ME. (plus i may be a smol bit desperate for someone to scream over it with?? but MINOR DETAILS, am i right??)
𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗟𝗬 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚?
so many books actually. I BROKE ALL THE RECORDS BY READING ONLY ONE BOOK AT A TIME FOR AN ENTIRE (!!!!!!) MONTH, but then my life fell apart a little this month and all the records got fixed again. SAD STUFF.
- ace of spades – i’m buddy reading this with THE AMAZING SUHANI and it’s actually RIDICULOUSLY ADDICTING?? someone needs to tell the book HOW I STILL HAVE SCHOOL GOING ON AND NOT TO TORTURE ME LIKE THAT
- wilder girls – the cover was delicious and fascinating and also a little horrifying. I COULD NOT RESIST, OK?? except the book isn’t proving to live up to the cover and i currently am just trying my best to decide whether the overly descriptive scereny is atmospheric or highly boring. there’s slight threat of a looming existential crisis because INDECISION.
- under the whispering door – which i am buddy reading with the QUEEN RACHEL, but am humiliatingly behind on BECAUSE I PROCRASTINATE WITH PHYSICAL COPIES OF BOOKS SOMETIMES??
- siren queen – it says magic and old hollywood AND I BECAME A LITTLE DESPERATE.
𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗜𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗚𝗢𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗢 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚?
it was matilda AND IT WAS MAGICAL!! it’s actually very weird how school is the one responsible for me being me and therefore a bookworm, because i read matilda for a homework project and THEN began my history as an all-conquering bookworm. i do not like giving school credit like that.
buuuuut. it was sad how i couldn’t lift things with my eyes and scare people. i still try sometimes. it never works. maybe i’m not a matilda descendant or something after all. ELEVEN LUCKED OUT THOUGH. UNFAIR STUFF.
𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗦𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗗! 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠?
- not my problem – YES PLEASE. if you haven’t read it yet, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE, SMOL OLIVE OF MINE?? THIS BOOK IS LIFE. it’s hilarious and amazing and brilliant and AIDEEN IS THE BEST EVER and kavi deserves THE WORLD and. YOU NEED THIS. shooo now. GO FALL IN LOVE WITH IT AND THEN COME SCREAM WITH ME LATER.
- six of crows – HA. HAHAHAHAHA. i possibly might not have a life right now?? because six of crows was rude and stole it. BUT I SOMEHOW STILL LOVE IT TO THE MOON AND BACK AND THEN TO THE MILKYWAY AND BACK AND THEN BACK TO THE MILKY WAY AGAIN AND JUST CONTINUE THIS LIKE 89267126521562156 TIMES MORE AND REPEAT TILL THE NUMBERS END.
- i kissed shara wheeler – possibly one of the best thing to ever grace the planet in all of EVER?? i love it, basically. ALSO ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE BASASS AND AMAZING AND EVIL AND DID I MENTION AMAZING?? THEY ONCE DROVE AROUND TOWN COLLECTING ALL THE MOZARELLA STICKS AND THEN RANKED THEM BASED ON TASTE AND HOW WAS I NOT INVITED??
𝗗𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗚𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗦 𝗢𝗥 𝗕𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗦 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘, 𝗢𝗥 𝗗𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 (𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗠𝗘) 𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗘𝗧𝗟𝗬 𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗨𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗘𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠 𝗧𝗢 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦’ 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗦 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗛𝗘𝗜𝗡𝗢𝗨𝗦𝗟𝗬 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥 𝗜𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗦𝗔𝗟𝗔𝗗?
look. i’m seriously considering stealing all of your books right now, naemi. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?? #BETRAYAL. but shhhh it’s fine. i shall forgive you. EXCEPT I’M STILL TAKING THOSE BOOKS.
green olives. GREEN OLIVES (and also the books) ARE MY LIFE. AND THEY’RE DELICIOUS (TASTE THEM) plus i also rule their world, so?? like?? except i am madly in love with the black ones too. when they’re in the salad. i usually end up stealing all of them and then get screamed at for stealing my sister’s. THE WORLD IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THAT. i get all the olives obviously. MY SISTER HAVING THEM INSTEAD MAKES NO SENSE.
𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦 𝗢𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘?
IT’S AMAZING AND MY THIRD MOST FAVORITE THING IN LIFE. makes me wonder what i was thinking while designing this blog. WHY DID NO ONE EVER SCREAM AT ME ABOUT THIS?? #rude
i also really like blue sometimes. BUT IT’S A WELL KNOWN FACT THAT OLIVES RULE OBVIOUSLY. MY BAD.
𝗕𝗘𝗖𝗔𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝗜 𝗔𝗠 𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗟, 𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗦𝗘: 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗦 𝗢𝗥 𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗦?
ash, have i ever told you how much i hate you?? BECAUSE GOSHDARNIT I SHOULD TELL YOU THAT MORE OFTEN. THIS IS CRUEL AND NO I SHALL NOT ALLOW THIS TYPE OF EVILNESS WHILE I RULE THE WORLD. YOU’RE BANISHED. *
(it’s books. you all know it’s book. BUT I STILL LOVE YOU, MY OLIVES. I SHALL FOREVER BE LOYAL LIKE THAT. except when it comes to books or inej ghafa SORRY)
* KIDDING, OKAY?? I LOVE YOU AND HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’D DO WITHOUT YOU.
𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗦 𝗢𝗡 𝗣𝗜𝗭𝗭𝗔 𝗢𝗥 𝗜𝗡 𝗣𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗔?
PIZZA!! i am not the biggest fan of black olives (SHHH DONT WORRY, I STILL LOVE YOUU) but they taste ridiculously AMAZING in pizza and salads?? IT’S CRUEL HOW THE WORLD WORKS. and also weird but SHHH. whatever.
oh and pizza?? i kind of eat it only for the olives sometimes. THEY’RE THE BEST PART OBVIOUSLY. bonus points if said pizza is spicy. BUT NEVERMIND. let’s stop. you only asked about the olives. i forget sometimes.
𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗔 𝗕𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗢𝗥 𝗔 𝗚𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘?
THIS IS POSSIBLY MY MOST FAVORITE QUESTION OF EVER, AND I SHALL GLADLY GIVE UP WORLD DOMINATION FOR WHOEVER THOUGHT OF IT (but also NO)!! (amazing person behind aforementioned MOST FAVORITE QUESTION OF EVER was anushka by the way, and I SHALL FOREVER BE LOYAL, PROMISE) i’m a green olive. the whole kind. and i look like this:
except greener and with eyes and a face. and also hands and legs and a book. that kind of stuff.
look. i know how there’s still 727262 questions i haven’t yet answered BUT I’M NOT IGNORING YOU / BEING RUDE AS IS MY HABIT, OKAY?? you’re probably already asleep reading this ridiculousness of overused words SO I’M BEING KIND. there shall be a part 2 where i explain the origins of my evilness. and all the other stuff. BYE NOW.
now tell me your story!! ARE YOU A GREEN OLIVE OR A BLACK OLIVE?? FAVORITES AMONG THE OLIVES?? what’s a book that made you cry?? I NEED ALL YOUR WEAKNESSES OVER HERE, OKAY?? books you think are overrated?? CHARACTERS YOU DREAM OF SOME DAY MURDERING??? first book you ever remember reading?? I NEED ANSWERS, PEOPLE