welcome to that one time of the year when we’re forced to acknowledge all the dangerously real fact-shaped things lying in wait beyond the woods.
i’ll let you in on a secret. it’s a sad one. a possibly dark one. it might crush your soul SO BE WARNED AND DON’T SUE ME LATER.
there’s only eight days left. for the year to change again.
and it’s a sad truth. with all the crossed out corners in your notebooks where dates have been rewritten because you got the year all wrong. and forgotten ages and new things and failed reading goals and all the words in your head you never got around to writing.
welcome to the last week of 2022. AND A TAG TO CELEBRATE ALL THE GOALS WE NEVER GOT AROUND TO ACCOMPLISHING. it’s fine. this is us trying*
*BY CREATING MORE LAST-MINUTE GOALS OF COURSE BECAUSE ISN’T THIS HOW THE WORLD ALWAYS WORKS?? IT IS, KID. IT IS. YOU NEUTRALIZE FALLEN GOALS BY CREATING MORE. THE WAY OF THE UNIVERSE.
all the books that you started this year but still need to finish
so many actually.
i’m somewhat weird in the way that i sometimes-too-often condemn dnf-ing books as reason for worldly imprisonment AND AM FIRMLY AGAINST IT LIKE THAT. but sometimes i forget to read a book for long, LOOOONG times and then end up chucking it into the wall across the bed at the other end of the room because GOSHDARNIT I DO NOT REMEMBER ALL THE PAST DETAILS AND CERTAIN CHARACTERLY DIALOGUE AND THEREFORE MUST START AGAIN FROM SCRATCH BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW IT ALL.
so i do that then. EXCEPT FOR THE NEW REALIZATION THAT LATER BEFALLS MY ALREADY-TRAGIC FATE THAT I REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE LINE OF THE FIRST CHAPTER. AND THIS IS GETTING BORING.
after which i temporarily (as is my worldly personality) give up on said book in efforts of forgetting all of it. SO I CAN LATER REREAD IN PEACE.
which brings us to the simplistic conclusion that i still need to read all those. HENCE PRESENTING. A LIST:
ninth house by leigh bardugo
- LOOK. i bought this sometime mid-september and it has been the sole reason i’ve since been in a perpetual state of forever-broke. i’ve read a little of it though. SOMEWHERE ALONG A FEW WORDS, BUT ITS OK. EVERYTHING COUNTS.*
- i’ve also flailed over the worn-out synopsis maybe a total of about 7466534+ times. DOUBLE COUNTS.
- but also it’s leigh bardugo AND I LOVE LEIGH BARDUGO
- basically excitement is at an all-time high REGARDING ALL THINGS. but especially this book. am contemplating letting myself devour this in a weekend as a reward for successfully making it through 2022 without overloadly too many existential crises. THERE HAVE BEEN ONLY 8364545 SO FAR THIS YEAR. #SUCCESS
sawkill girls by claire legrand
- there’s horses and evil island curses AND GLORIOUS SETTINGS. i’ve read the first 15% maybe twice so far AND NEED TO GET FURTHER. SOMEONE GET ME FURTHER.
- but also the cover looks ridiculously PHENOMENAL and interesting AND I WANT THAT OK.
- life MUST be more interesting than this whirlwind of terrible contemporaries where people act like cardboard and eat cardboard and drink cardboard soup and live in cardboard houses with cardboard dogs.
- CARDBOARD IS TIRING AND MILDLY ANNOYING, HONESTLY. the world needs variation.
magnus chase and the sword of summer by rick riordan
- my sister once made the grave grave mistake of entering a second hand bookstore without me. and i say ‘mistake’ because WHO BUYS A SINGLE FRICKIN BOOK WHEN THEY’RE ALL JUST SITTING THERE FREELY ADVERTISING HOW CHEAP THEY ALL ARE?? books + me-not-going-broke = the best (and also least possible) SCENARIO IN EXISTENCE.
- but point is she brought one. i shall never forgive her, of course (LOOK I AM LOYAL) but reading the book she brough? I MUST DO.
- this is the book she brought.
- and the chapter titles are officially NEW LEVELS OF HILARIOUS which is why i’ve made it my current goal to DEVOUR IT ALL. am currently a hundred and fifty pages through and lightly cackling over all the soft sassiness. I LOVE.
*NO IT DOESN’T. BUT: MY RULES. BECAUSE I’M QUEEN GET IT?? SO I RULE. AND I ALSO MAKE THEM.
an autumnal book to transition into the end of the year
autumn is actually such a pretty season.
there’s so many leaves and all the bare branches where ghosts are rumoured to laugh at night. and the wait for winter break when it’s too cold to get up in the mornings and i can live in local libraries and read all the time.
so it’s well justified how it’s one of my life-long regrets that autumn doesn’t make its presence known in the place where i live. and how i’ve never really experienced autumn except in pictures and movies and reading about it in books.
it makes me sob sometimes. because DUDE I WANT TO SPEND MY SUNDAY AFTERNOON CLEARING A YARD (THAT SUPPOSEDLY BELONGS TO ME) FROM ALL THE DARKNESSES OF FALLEN LEAVES AND CREATE A HUGE HILL AND THEN JUMP INTO IT. i so so desperately WANT TO JUMP IN THE LEAVES GOSHDARNIT.
how dare the universe be so cruel.
but it’s ok, you know?? IT’S OK. i did that with hay once. i created a hill and i jumped into it. except i didn’t exactly land in a heap on the leaf-bed the way the cartoons promised. MY SHOES LANDED ON THE TOP AND THE HILL WAS NEVER DESTROYED. what is even happening over here. WE DON’T REALLY TALK ABOUT IT.
little women by louisa may alcott
- every time the year nears winter, i abandon all my year-long attempts to convince myself my tbr might eat me if i don’t spend my life attempting to keep it the happiest it can be. and then i pick up this book and silently devour it. until i’m 5 chapters in and decide OH SHIT THE TBR.
- so i go back to making my tbr happy. until another year has gone by and it’s christmas-time again.
- christmas is kind of my yearly, self-proclaimed season of obsessing over jo and dreaming sweet dreams of someday living in a library with her and softly remisicing about the first time i ever fell in love with her story and how it all began with having to read an extract for english class.
- GOSHDARNIT I LOVE JO ALRIGHT
the wolf and the woodsman by ava reid
- WELCOME TO THE WORLDLY WONDERS OF MY GRACIOUSLY LARGE TBR. it gladly encourages the spectacle.
- reid of the non-taylor-variety* (aka author of aforementioned book whose title makes up the headlines of this section) promises creepy fantasies bordering on the waters of the horror ocean. AND I LOVE THE HORROR OCEAN
- ok am mostly only doing it all for the horror ocean
- i maybe kind of have a very recently developed horror obsession. and I must read it BECAUSE I SLIGHTLY DESPERATELY WISH TO WRITE IT.
the secret history by donna tartt
- because apparently there’s murder on the first page AND DUDE THIS IS HOW THE BOOKS SHOULD ACTUALLY BE WRITTEN. THE GENIUS.
- also teaches the many ways calculus can be applied on poison. i need someone to make calculus more interesting for me. AM COUNTING ON THIS BOOK (ASK RACHEL. i haven’t read this yet AND ALL THE POISON CLAIMS ARE HERS)
- but also murder seems very autumnal.
*MOSTLY BECAUSE WHENEVER WE SAY REID, IT’S USUALLY OF THE TAYLOR JENKINS REID VARIETY. AND THIS IS NOT. HENCE WE MUST CLARIFY. FOR THE EPICALLY STRAIGHTFORWARD REASON THAT TJR MUSTN’T BE BLAMED IF THIS BOOK DOESN’T LIVE UP TO THE REPUTATIONS WE’RE CURRENTLY UNFAIRLY DUMPING UPON IT.
a new release that you’re still waiting for
apparently the world is cruel and publishers shook hands on the joint pact of releasing all my most anticipated releases in december, in their last conference.
which, COME TO THINK OF IT, is actually very obnoxious and EXTREMELY SELF-CENTERED OF ME. i’m a nobody to the publishers and they don’t even know said anticipated releases i claim to be mine WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE.
BUT IT’S OKAY. i make it my lifely goal sometimes to be forever optimistic because optimistic people are always nice. ALSO ALL THE LAST-MINUTE RELEASES TAKE AWAY ALL THE TIME I WOULD OTHERWISE HAVE SPENT FREAKING OUT ABOUT YEAR ENDS. this is a good thing.
never ever getting back together by sophie gonzales
- maybe the plot isn’t the most exciting, but then there’s the ‘sophie gonzales’ promise glued to the cover WHICH MAKES THE UNIVERSE SO MUCH MORE EXCITING.
- it features a baking content of sorts. which, you know, WOW FOOD. I LIKE FOOD. MORE BOOKS SHOULD HAVE FOOD. FOOD IS PHENOMENAL. cakes are fabulous.
- I WANT CAKE.
- but also. maybe there shall be the ever-present gonzales style of humor too WHICH IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS ON EARTH. I’M A FAN.
- and revenge AND CAKE and two girls who end up ditching the boy and falling in love with each other instead (WHICH, YOU KNOW. SMART MOVE.) and cake and OH WAIT. goodreads says the baking show is actually a reality dating show and i read the words wrong OR MAYBE MY MEMORY IS A JUMBLED PLACE WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WORLD. i can’t mention cake anymore.
- but also. I WANT CAKE OK
a million to one by adiba jaigirdar
- hello and welcome to my single most anticpated release of the year. IT’S BEEN MY LIFELINE SINCE JANUARY AND I OWE IT ALL MY BOOKS. (but also i won’t ACTUALLY give them to it BECAUSE THE BOOKS ARE MINE. and i protect them before life. THIS IS HOW THE SANE WORLD WORKS WHY DO YOU GASP LIKE THAT)
- also sapphic characters who go on heists aboard the titanic with the forever unending possibility that they may sink in the end is a very nice thing to write about. 10/10 will make all the people drop their clothes irons onto their favorite pair of jeans that shall then tragically burn and listen to every word your mouth spills.
- i’m a sad part of the huge majority over here. WHY HAS NO ONE EVER WRITTEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS BEFORE.
- i’m excited. HUGE AMOUNTS OF IT. someone save me. AND MAKE ALL THE TIME MINE.
the poison season by mara rutherford
- look poison is a very fascinating topic of speech. I’M FOREVER FASCINATED.
- also pretty covers are nice things. THEY’RE RIDICULOUSLY EASILY FALL-IN-LOVE-ABLE. also pretty. pretty things are nice. I LIKE PRETTY. i also love poison.
- this book is perfect like that.
- (also my yearly stats are vaguely humiliating and fiercely suggest i start reading over-the-top too much fantasy again to justify my extravagant exclamations of it being my favorite genre of all time)
- (i’ve apparently read VERY LITTLE fantasy this year?? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD GOSHDARNIT)
three books you want to read before the end of the year
oh i’m actually fabulous and otherworldly AND SHALL READ ALL THE REST OF MY TBR THIS YEAR. or the 10 days that’s left of it.
in total, there’s 900 books. minus all the webcomics on the notes app of my phone that maybe possibly is currently dangerously close to bursting level. but we must keep certain things for the next year anoushka to accomplish. FOCUS ON THE BOOKS HERE.
so. the 900 books. and the mere, conquerable ten days until the year changes forever. i could be bold and do the unthinkable and finally show the world why humans are born two-eyed by reading double books at the exact same time. THAT WOULD BE CLEVER. and also completely unheard of.
and then plug in two completely different sets of earphones and repeat everything with the audiobooks to prove the similar two-ear theory.
and listen to four books in an hour. which makes a total of 96 books a day if we ignore all the everyday sleeping and breathing and other idiotic tasks and give away my entire day for the books to eat. THIS IS A NICE PLAN.
except for the part where my brain accidentally overheated and then exploded all over the place.
I KID SOMETIMES. HERE’S THE THREE:
babel by r. f. kuang
- one day i shall read everything r. f. kuang has ever written and i’ll then have all the secrets to taking over the universe in my hands. along with a shattered heart that accidentally fell out.
- (SHUT UP WE FOCUS ON THE SECRETS)
- then i’ll make cake the meal for every meal of the day. and olives for snacks. with books everywhere in between.
- I HAVE SUCH GLORIOUS PLANS. (which may or may not 834627% be made up of cake, EXCUSE ME)
- (but cake is NICE alright)
crooked kingdom by leigh bardugo
- for everyone who’s been gone a decade and a half and wasn’t yet aware: HELLO I AM SIX OF CROWS FAN EXTRAORDINAIRE AND SHALL TRAVEL THE WORLD TO (FIND) AND BEFRIEND INEJ GHAFA ONE DAY. i love inej ghafa.
- AND ALSO KAZ, MY SMOL PRECIOUS KAZ WITH THE TRAGIC CHILDHOOD WHO SAW ALL THE EVIL SIDES OF THE WORLD AND WAS LEFT ALL ALONE TO FACE THEM. i shall adopt you. one day when my mom gets exhausted and finally relents. JUST YOU WAIT.
- therefore i must read this instead of obsessing for a week and a half over every single fan account i come across and silently sobbing OVER HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM.
- but shh. procrastination is my middle name. DID YOU NOT KNOW THAT ALREADY?
the bone orchard by sara a. mueller
- i love the thought of buried skeletons rising from the ground again, centuries after all their skin decayed. i love the idea of someone being in the graveyard at the time when said rising happens and the kid gets traumatised for life.
- that isn’t what the book is about though. I WAS JUST SAYING.
- it’s what the cover makes me think of. I WANT TO WRITE A STORY WITH CORPSES RISING FROM THE GROUND LIKE THAT ONE DAY.
- but this sounds slightly GENIUS and the cover looks very nice and pretty covers haven’t disappointed me. yet. SO I’M EXCITED ALRIGHT.
is there a book you think could still shock you and become your favorite of the year?
there’s only just ten days left, but i want to say yes.
MOSTLY BECAUSE THERE JUST HAVEN’T BEEN NEARLY ENOUGH GOOD BOOKS THIS YEAR?? and i want to fall in love with more and make them save my life again.
but there’s ten days left. and i’m spending all my spare time freaking out over the assignments glaring at me and all the 87487467 page long notes i still haven’t completed from the beginning of the school year.
THERE’S ONLY TEN DAYS LEFT AND I STILL HAVE TOO MANY THINGS I NEED TO DO DAMMIT.
babel by r. f. kuang
- because r. f. kuang is magic. and so by the smol rules of logic, this book must be too.
- i won’t, of course, be too disappointed if it isn’t, though.
- BUT IT WILL BE. because kuang is magic. and humanly incapable of disappointing.
- READ THE RULES BEFORE OBJECTING, ALIENS. i make all the declarations here. YOU MERELY KEEP YOUR EARS OPEN FOREVER AND BOW DOWN WHENEVER I DEMAND IT OF YOU.
- and i declare this shall be phenomenal. BOW. AND KEEP THE DISAGREEING WHISPERS DOWN.
ninth house by leigh bardugo
- it’s a smol fact of life that i’m serious levels of bardugo obsessed.
- although i also have LARGE LAAARGE expectations from crooked kingdom but maybe this is enough bardugo for one post. WE CAN’T EXHAUST HER OUT, DUDE.
- but secret yale societies are nice things and i sometimes dream of being in one and fighting with magic. BARDUGO IS NICE IN HOW SHE ENCOURAGES IT ALL VERY MUCH.
- ALSO HELLO DARK ACADEMIA.
the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde
- everyone loves this. i must be everyone and love this too.
- but also gothic literature about morally grey characters written in the nineteenth century by a man who has ridiculously specific thoughts about art and was imprisoned for being gay might be the main reason i’m reading this.
- I LOVE OSCAR WILDE, BASICALLY.
have you already started making reading plans for 2023?
HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. WHO DO YOU THINK I AM GODDAMMIT?? i still cry over my failed 2022 plans WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY CREATING NEW ONES FOR DECEMBER OVER HERE. and firmly trying to convince every passerby (IN ORDER TO CONVINCE MYSELF. i haven’t yet COMPLETELY entered the universe of lunacy DARN YOU) that 2023 is still months ago AND 22 HASN’T YET MANAGED TO BETRAY US AS WE ALL ASSUME IT TO HAVE.
so no. i’m living in the present*, AS THE SCHOLARS SAY YOU MUST.
but i’m apparently very much living the writerly stereotype currently, complete with dark chocolate cakes (MY RULES OK) and midnight cups of too-cold coffee (which. you know. GAVE ME A COLD. following the movies is BAD SOMETIMES, kids) but i have some seriously planned 2023 writing projects THAT I SOMETIMES SPEND ALL MY DAYS GUSHING OVER. it’s very exciting. AND ALSO BLOGGERLY PLANS WHEREIN I TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE AND MAKE DRAGONS WRITE ALL MY WORDS.
it’s a nice life.
*OK LOOK. SO MAYBE THAT’S A LITTLE BIT FORWARD OF ME, CONSIDERING HOW I SPEND EVERY DAY IN THE PAST OR FROLICKING OVER THE LAKE OF CAMP HALFBLOOD. OR IN A DIFFERENT WORLD WHERE I KILL DEMONS AND FALL DOWN BROKEN TREE HOLES. THE PRESENT IS OUTDATED, ALRIGHT.
say good bye to another year that flew right past me and you.
ALSO SAY GOODBYE TO A WORLD THAT I HAVEN’T YET CONQUERED BECAUSE I SHALL READ EVERYTHING R. F. KUANG’S EVER WRITTEN AND THEN PROCEED TO CONQUER THE WORLD NEXT YEAR.
what happens when the year finally ends?? do you scream? eat chocolate? dramatically fall onto the bed and bury yourself under the enormous pile of blankets you justify need your love for waiting like that all day for you? OR READ A BOOK INTO THE NEW YEAR AND FORGET ABOUT ALL SEMBLANCES OF IDIOCY KNOWN AS TIME?? give me answers. also: books you need to finish before 2022 betrays you?? ANTICIPATED RELEASES THAT ARE CURRENTLY GIVING YOU ALL THE LIFE? tell me.