i currently have all the library books stacked around me on the bed, along with all the stolen ones from my sister’s stack.
(because what else do you keep sisters around for, am i right?)
basically, welcome to the world’s newest dilemma: THERE’S ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT AND I’M ONLY FOUR BOOKS AWAY FROM SMASHING MY 2022 READING CHALLENGE LIKE THE QUEEN THAT I CLAIM TO BE. BUT ALSO THERE’S FOUR BOOKS. AND ONLY TWO DAYS. it’s a problem.
THE WORLD IS CONCERNED.
(although, TECHNICALLY, it’s not. the concerned parties in question is only just me because LOOK. I WANT TO APPEAR QUEENLY AND WINNING = QUEENLY. i must be queenly)
(EXCEPT MY MUM MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT CONCERNED TOO BECAUSE SHE DECLARES I MUSTN’T GIVE UP SLEEP. but it’s ok. I’VE BRIBED WITH CAKE*)
*AND CAKE IS FOOL-PROOF
so here’s what i aim to do IN THE 24 HOURS THAT I SHALL BE QUEEN OF THE GALAXIES AND RULE THE WORLD. preseting to all smol olively fiends, a comprehensive list:
- except we must be QUICK because i have five minutes left before i’m meant to start. HOW DARE YOU.
- but i mean to possibly finish aforementioned library stacks using the past-planned strategy of 4 books an hour and thus 96 books a day BECAUSE SINCE WE’RE GIVING UP SLEEP FOR THIS, WE MIGHT AS WELL MAKE IT WORTHWHILE
- and then make a quick half-hour trip to the library for MORE BOOKS because libraries are sane creatures and don’t let you borrow that many at a time. IT’S UNFAIR HOW LIBRARIES GET ALL THE BOOKS FOR THEMSELVES FOREVER OK
- i also haven’t read anything in about two weeks, EXCEPT IT FEELS LIKE MONTHS so i must eat up all the stories aka finally do the thing life was actually made for
- PLUS I’M EXCITED.
- and excitement’s always important.
ok. five minutes up. SHUTTING UP NOW.
A SMOL LITTLE READING LOG THAT ACCIDENTALLY GROWED TALL
welcome to the beginning.
9:30 am. OK SO LOOK. this was supposed to see the early morning sunlight instead of the noon, BUT MY ALARM CLOCK FORGOT TO RING. hence why we’re three hours late (9:30 am instead of 5) BUT STILL DOING THIS. be proud (OF ME NOT THE ALARM CLOCK GOSHDARNIT) (ALSO. YES. THIS HAS BEEN IN THE PLANS FOR A DAY AND THE SOLE REASON I SURVIVED THROUGH A WHOLE DAY OF STUDYING YESTERDAY AND STILL CAME OUT HAPPY AND ALIVE) now EXCUSE ME while i go read words for a day. and occassionally report back IF I REMEMBER THIS BLOG’S EXISTENCE because i’m #forgetful see
9:38 am. NO BUT TELL ME IF THIS DOESN’T SOUND LIKE THE DREAM JOB: “one of the legion of midcentury dreamers who came to manhattan with hopes tucked into a suitcase” it’s phenomenally cruel how i shall never get to be one of the legion of midcentury dreamers BUT AM STILL ALLOWED TO READ ABOUT THEM in books where mothers raise their daughters on fairy tales.
THE WORLD IS CRUEL.
(also. slightly off-point BUT THE MELISSA ALBERT PROSE IS STUNNING?? but shhh. silent declarations BECAUSE I SHALL CURRENTLY BE REBELLIOUS)
(and YES am still on the first page because i accidentally got distracted with a piece of chocolate. DON’T TELL)
9:49 am. was on a five minute pencil-searching break (WE’RE LOW ON PENCILS AROUND HERE APPARENTLY?? but have now returned with a broken-tipped pencil and a pen. will probably use the pen because there isn’t a sharpener in sight) ALSO, READING WISE, AM THREE PAGES IN AND THE CHARACTERS ARE HIGHLY ENTERTAINING. i’m loving this.
ok. never mind. forget it. THE PEN’S OUT OF INK.
10:41 am. 40 pages in HELLO NEW OBSESSION INCOMING. is also kind of the best book i’ve read in a LOOOOONG time so maybe i’m currently in love with the universe like that. LIFE IS PERFECT. TIME IS FLYING. THE WORLD DOESN’T EXIST. it’s a phenomenal book. (except it’s also very cold AND I’M FREEZING?? but cannot be bothered to bring in the blanket from down the hall so we’ll just try to outlive the cold as long as we can. possibly until lunch. or until i’m done with the book. WHICHEVER COMES FIRST) also alice is a badass and i like that.
this is kind of the first time in my decade-and-a-half-long history of reading that i remember all the names right. WOULD DECLARE MELISSA ALBERT A GENIUS WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT.
it’s innocently hilarious in the highly cackle-worthy way AND I LOVE THAT TOO.
11:08 am. LISTEN i love finch SO SO MUCH i want to sqiush him in a hug, the smol innocent bean. AND THEN PROCEED TO BEFRIEND HIM. although on second thought MAYBE I SHOULD DO THAT IN REVERSE ORDER IN ORDER TO NOT SCAR HIM FOR LIFE, EXCUSE THE POOR REASONING.
11:27 am. SCRATCH THAT, ACTUALLY. maybe i’ll just befriend everyone in this book one day BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL HIGHLY FUN SPECIES OF HUMANLY CREATURES THE LIKES OF WHOM YOU NEVER GET TO ENCOUNTER IN THIS WORLD. i love alice.
12:02 pm. two and a half hours, 100 pages, devouring all the last crumbs of a three-day ago cake that i’ve been trying my hardest to make last as long as until my patience finally wears out (IT WORE OUT) and accidentally stumbling over aforementioned stack of library books (ONE OF THE MANY DANGERS OF READING AND WALKING) later, i’m back!!!!! and maybe also desperately in need of MORE CAKE.
cake is nice like that.
12:30 pm. okay okay. CHANGE OF PLANS!!!! will now make it my life mission to befriend finch + gain access into his house + POSSIBLY LIVE THERE BECAUSE DID I MENTION THERE’S THIS WHOLE ROOM WHERE BOOKS LINE ALL THREE WALLS WITH CEILING LENGTH WINDOWS COVERING THE FOURTH ONE AND IT LOOKS LIKE AN IMAGINED VERSION OF HEAVEN IN MY HEAD. the ideal version. I WILL LIVE THERE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH ONLY FOOD + THE OCCASIONAL BOOK SUPPLY AS CONTACT WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD. nice knowing you.
now excuse me while i go carry out all my house-stealing endevours AND MARVELLOUSLY SUCCEED AT LIFE.
1:10 pm. long break, BUT I WAS BUSY READING. it’s like a mixture of contemporary everyday life BUT THEN YOU ADD SMOL AMOUNTS OF WHIMSY TO IT. after which the contemporary kind of overtakes AND LEAVES YOU WISHING IT’D BEEN THE OTHER WAY AROUND. because contemporary is overrated.
but also. HERE’S A CONFESSION: i might currently be liking the VIBES of this much more than the actual story?? THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE WHIMSY, DUDE.
2:34 pm. right BUT WE MIGHT NEED TO, AT SOME POINT, ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT THEY’VE BEEN EATING PANCAKES FOR ALL MEALS OF THE DAY (SNACKS INCLUDED) FOR TWO DAYS AND THEN PROCEED TO ORDER WAFFLES FOR BREAKFAST??? look. i would probably forgive them the luxury if they didn’t have any other food on them (EXCEPT THEY DO) BUT DUDE. WHAT IF ALL YOUR TEETH FALL OFF AND YOU END UP WITH DIABETES??
it’s fun how when you live in a fantasy novel with magic and all that, sugar and balanced diets and chocolate-y overloads become too small a concern.
I WANT TO LIVE IN A FANTASY NOVEL TOO.
3:11 pm. everything is confusing and the words are all jumbled. i remember nothing and my head aches from reading for so long. am contemplating eating cake while watching tv but there’s no cake left in the house and also this book is interesting. will probably continue staring at words for about an hour now.
5:56 pm. finished book one and am currently living off the high of the knowledge that i still have 12+ hours of knowing i must do nothing but get lost in all the stories and possibly devour words until the pages grow invisible. or sleep decides to overtake the world. whichever comes first.
am still confused whether this was genius or magical-sounding pieces of memory and distant nightmares woven together in book form. but it’s also sad and melancholic and beautiful and i don’t really know how to feel about it.
6:00 pm. introducting you TO ONE OF THE BOOKS THAT SAVED 2021.
i’ve decided a year is a long time sometimes, and it’s been a year since i first read this. HENCE A REREAD IS LONG DUE.
(except i also stumbled upon double copies just SITTING THERE on the library shelves, looking all innocent and beautiful with the star-themed covers and remembered how amazing elle was AND IMPULSIVELY STACKED IT ONTO MY SISTERS’ PILE BECAUSE I’D RAN OFF THE LIMIT ON MY OWN CARD ALREADY DAMMIT)
(except i’m maybe perpetually in love with the fact that elle refers to her stepmother as stepmonster and the letters look so alike in print sometimes, you could mistake them for each other)
6:10 pm. HA i’d forgotten how amazingly-written the stepmonster is AND HOW SHE MAKES EVERYONE WITHIN SIGHT OF THE WORDS WISH TO STRANGLE HER. WOMAN, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT MUZZLING DOGS IN MY PRESENCE UNLESS YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH.
but i guess it’s ok since i mean to strangle her anyway.
6:32 pm. OK BUT every single line of dialogue darien ever owns makes me cackle hard enough to wake all the neighbours from their sleep.
EXCEPT I’D ALSO FORGOTTEN HOW READING THIS BOOK IS LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF EXCITEMENT and always puts me in this weird headspace where i’m clacking the computer keys too hard and laughing every second of the day while also cackling over unphenomenal stuff and feeling very jumpy AND JUST GENERALLY EXCITED and kind of like i could run miles without getting tired and then laugh a laugh so loud and genuine, simultaneously panting with my hands on my knees because everything pains and i need water more than i need oxygen, hours later when there’s inconspicuois amounts of sunrays peeking out from the sky. WORDS ARE EXCITING THINGS.
6:42 pm. i’m actually mildly in love with how elle gives all these petty backhand comments against darien and then says things like “but then again, i’m an actual stargunner” and then vaguely criticizes people on the television for holding water guns wrong. ELLE IS FABULOUS AND A GENERALLY PERFECT SPECIES OF HUMAN AND I LOVE HER.
6:47 pm. LOOK i know how opinions might differ, but i think abolishment of the ear-to-ear-grinning phrase might make the world a better place IF IT WERE BANNED FROM ETERNAL EXISTENCE?? it makes me imagine terrifying things. DUDE HOW DO GRINS EVEN STRETCH LONG ENOUGH TO REACH BOTH EARS* THIS IS IDIOTIC
*ALSO THEY SHOULDN’T TECHNICALLY BE ALLOWED TO DO THIS BECAUSE 1) IT’S CREEPY OKAY 2) ALSO WOULD SUGGEST OTHERWORLDLY THINGS. AND SCIENTISTS ARE AGAINST THAT. PLUS IF INCONSEQUENTIAL OTHERWORLDLY THINGS ARE ALLOWED THEN WHERE’S MY MAGIC YOU GREEN ALIEN YOU
6:58 pm. ok so LISTEN: “another brilliant conversation bewteen coworkers. i swear, i try to be freindly to everyone – except the twins and their country club friends – but i suck at being social. i think one thing and my mouth says something completely different, like i’m possessed. by a whole lot of stupid.” DID I MENTION I LOVE ELLE
7:58 pm. quick break to clear up all the space i’m currently occupying (APPARENTLY THERE WAS TOO MUCH HOMELESS STATIONERY LYING AROUND ON THE FLOOR MIXED IN WITH BOOKS THAT I STRONGLY RECALL BEING IN STACKS LAST I CHECKED AND PLATES I’VE COLLECTED THROUGHOUT THE DAY) but i’m back and slightly freaking out over how we’ve got only a little more than 12 hours left AND I STILL HAVE AT LEAST THREE MORE BOOKS TO COMPLETE. but am back with popcorn for dinner + extra blankets and not having to get up again for posibbly 8473636 more hours. or until it’s morning again. EXCUSE ME WHILE I’M DEVOURED BY THE PAGES AND DON’T HAVE TO BATTLE THE UNIVERSE ANYMORE.
8:24 pm. on the verge of starting part 2 and am maybe busy obsessing over the introduction for a little while (LISTEN TO THIS: “when you can’t win the fight, you get bigger guns”) and just casually wondering how that sounds like something one of the crows would say. which, you know. GENIUS LEVEL STORYTELLING right. there.
but also darien is highly entertaining AND I LOVE HIS DIALOGUE DID I MENTION THAT
9:39 pm. you know, there’s this one scene where elle has an entire inner monologue ft. lord of the rings and frodo and she mulls over how frodo fell into trouble when he hesitated with his ring and then makes the entirety of her decision based on that one lotr scene alone and i kind of absolutely live for that.
BOOK REFERENCES IN BOOKS ARE OFFICIALLY THE BEST OKAY!!!
9:48 pm. am currently contemplating a reward system. but based on food. a handful of popcorn when i reach 150 pages. two when i’m at 200. it’s kind of supposed to work double ways, see?? i stop myself from going through the entire bowl in a grand total of 5 minutes while also ensuring i don’t accidentally drift off to sleep and dream of elle and the banker neighbour’s dog and then wake up to cry into my soggy bowl of breakfast cereal over failed goals.
this will work. food bribes are officially fool-proof stuff alright.
10:02 pm. darien uses the excuse of I’M AN ACTOR RIGHT basically every single time he wishes to tell a lie/pretend his way through something AND THEN IT ENDS UP MAJORLY BACKFIRING its actually hilarious to watch
10:16 pm. “i’m saying let’s stop being powerless. sometimes we shouldn’t be carmindor. sometimes we should be amara.” WELCOME TO MY MOST FAVORITE LINE IN THE ENTIRE BOOK. which, technically, is SAYING A LOT, because there’s a whole entire universe to choose from.
10:37 pm. ok alright. second thoughts. HAVE CASUALLY FOUND COMPETITION FOR AFOREMENTIONED FAVORITE LINE. read this: “and if we’re both looking up at the same sky, how far apart can we really be? what were the odds of us being put on the same slab of rock in this huge universe?” the first time i read this, i scribbled stories based on that one quote alone in the margins of my school textbooks late at night when i should have been studying. a geekerella and the raven boys crossover of sorts. THE FUN STUFF.
11:02 pm. look don’t groan but i may have found competitor the third. HERE: “sage thinks i hate princess amara on the principle that she’s a lying double-crosser, but i hate her because i can relate to her. i’m the one tossed into the black nebula. i’m the one lost, in a life, a world, a universe that is no longer mine”
BUT!!!!! in other news!!!!! am 200 pages in, only a 100 more to go EXCUSE ME WHILE I DEVOUR THE SMOL KERNEL-SHAPED POPCORN-REMAINS IN AFOREMENTIONED FIVE MINUTES. goodbye.
1:48 am. i think we might have to pause though. DUDE I DO NOT REMEMBER SO MUCH OF THAT ENDING HAPPENING AND THERE’S EVENTS THAT ARE COMPLETELY WIPED FROM MY MEMORY THAT I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF?? PLUS I DONT REMEMBER FRANK THE TANK EVER BEING THIS CUTE. also am DONE WITH BOOK THE SECOND, eaten myself sick with a too-huge bowl of popcorn and could possibly sleep for 836263 hours.
i sometimes hate it when books revolve around fandoms and those fandoms aren’t real. i especially hate it when such books are phenomenal. this was phenomenal SOMEONE CREATE STARFIELD DARNIT. geekerella is the best kind of magical.
1:50 am. you can obviously never go wrong with books that start with duble-burnt croissants and a teen who speaks like she accidentally grew young again after turning 50 and never got the memo about said age-traveling skills of hers. who then proceeds to smash into the just-cleaned window of your diner where the highly bored and i-lack-entertainment-in-my-smol-sad-life variety of people usually spend their days. and smears makeup all over said window, while simultaneously walking away whispering questions into the air without waiting for any of the answers. THE WORLD’S A WEIRD PLACE LIKE THAT.
but also the main character’s a hilarious little kid who sometimes swears his eyes roll themselves. except he’s also soft and a cinnamon roll SO IT’S FINE.
2:44 am. i’m very very tired. slightly close to giving up. My eyes possibly shut while reading the words and you might have to add an impending headache into the mixture of doom.
i kind of wish to sleep. and not have to work so hard for wanting to have stories relayed to me. WHY DOES ONLY OXYGEN UNDERGO OSMOSIS this is unfair okay
6:47 am. APPARENTLY I FEEL ASLEEP. sometime around three-thirty IF MY ESTIMATIONS ARE RIGHT?? but yes, i fell asleep, have woken up to stolen popcorn bowls and the fact that I’m PHENOMENALLY failing at this like the genius that i am.
3 and a half hours left. one and a half book seems like an impossible bet. (terrifying discovery, BUT I READ TOO SLOW??)
7:01 am. i’m as much a fan of crime as anybody, BUT DUDE THREE CRIMES IN THE COURSE OF A HALF HOUR IS CUTTING IT IDIOTICALLY CLOSE. especially when they’re MAJOR STUFF like hitting a police officer in the head and throwing tomatoes onto the head of another one and then crossing a bridge that is VERY MUCH OFF LIMITS. and then breaking into a bookstore by smashing the glass display case and grabbing the book you gifted one of your most favorite people in all the world.
(BUT ALSO. While we’re here, THE FOURTH ONE WAS A SLIGHT ACT OF GENIUS. except would also have liked it better if more books were stolen I SHALL 73626362% DO THIS SOMEDAY EXCUSE ME) but look YOU COULD EASILY HAVE GONE AROUND THE BRIDGE. and possibly waited till the bookstores had opened?? YOUR RECORD MIGHT STILL BE PAPER-WHITE ALONG WITH THE CHANCES OF ACTUALLY GETTING INTO COLLEGE SOMEDAY.
this complicates matters. (BECAUSE HOW DARE HE NOT. STEAL. MORE. BOOKS. this is humiliating)
7:30 am. also you DO NOT try to reason with police officers how stealing a book (that is TECHNICALLY yours, ok. BUT IS ALSO NOW IN A GLASS DISPLAY CASE SO SOMEONE PROBABLY PAID MONEY TO BUY IT OKAY) might not actually be a crime and then shove it in their face. except THE WORLD IS PERFECT and hence things get ridiculous and a jumbled fumbling mess and turns out it’s the same officer you hit in the head a couple minutes ago. SOMEONE TEACH THESE KIDS SENSE.
7:54 am. OH. OH OH OOOOOH. ignore everything I’ve ever said before. READ THIS, YOU: “I slam the book down on the officer’s hand, severing the hold he has on her.” WE’RE FIRMLY ON THE SIDE OF ANYONE WHO DEFIES AUTHORITY AND/OR THE LAW BY SMACKING VARIOUS BODY PARTS WITH BOOKS THIS IS GREATNESS.
also sy getting mad about reggie calling him her son while they’re being chased by a horde of officers with the power of putting them behind bars is very adorable and sy-like. i like sy very much.
8:09 am. HAS THE BEST EVER DIALOGUE READ THIS: “that was literally the most fun i’ve had in a yonkers amount of years,” she says, laughing away. “oh, you dirty devil, you are the bearer of the most unanticipated joyride ever.”
am also the smollest bits jealous because THIS IS THE MOST FUN I’VE HAD IN A LONG WHILE TOO, DUDE. excuse all the cackling. I KIND OF WISH THEY’D TAKE ME ALONG AND WE COULD ALL DEFY LONDON LAW TOGETHER WHILE RUNNING AROUND THE COUNTRY SEARCHING FOR A MISSING EX-BOYFRIEND, PROPERLY EQUIPPED WITH A NEVER-ENDING SUPPLY OF MONEY MONEY MONEY. (DO ME A FAVOR and imagine this the potato-head way)
8:39 am. FAROUK IS SUCH A SQUISHY LITTLE SWEETHEART I LOVE HIM TO THE MOON AND BACK.
SY + REGGIE MAKE THE BEST EVER PLATONIC DUO AND ARE #FRIENDSHIP #GOALS I LOVE THEM AND ALL THE LONDON HAVOC THEY CAUSE TOGETHER (also would 100% strangle reggie for disrespecting books like that under any other circumstances BUT SHE’S ALSO HILARIOUS ABOUT IT OKAY. the queenly being)
8:59 am. i hate how the world can never be completely quiet. like, no sound. to the point where you sometimes wonder if the wind might want to communicate with you or if your ears are even functioning properly. but the world doesn’t function based on my demands (YET) and there’s always the wayward car that honks at eight in the morning and then forgets to stop the honking even after the road has cleared. or there’s all the people walking downstairs who walk so loud i can hear their footsteps through the floor. or the kids outdoors (WEIRD SPECIES WE DO NOT BOTHER KNOWING NAMES OF. WHO WALKS OUTDOORS AT NINE IN THE MORNING WHEN IT’S WINTER AND THEREFORE FREEZING??) shouting outside the windows of the house where you live because apparently their ball fell into your yard AND BALLS ARE IMPORTANT DARNIT.
i want the universe to stop talking for a second.
but i also currently have only half an hour left FOR THE WORLD TO END (aka the 24 hours to declare themselves completed) and am therefore deviating off-course as is habit and reading the first heartstopper volume for the third time this year.
(I LOVE YOU CHARLIE)
9:03 am. NICK’S PEN EXPLODING IS THE MOST ICONIC HAPPENING IN HEARTSTOPPER HISTORY.
blue hands look cool ok.
but also charlie is smol and amazing and needs a hug and also deserves nick and THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD SOMEDAY, my preciousssss. SOMEONE TELL HIM TO STOP DOWNGRADING HIMSELF TO THE UNIVERSE AND ALL ITS INHABITANTS DARNIT.
9:05 am. but also nick smiling when the teacher freaks out about the pen exploding and goes all ‘oh-dear’ makes me cackle. HE’S SO HAPPY THE PEN EXPLODED. good people.
9:11 am. ALSO THE NICK-ASKING-CHARLIE-TO-JOIN-THE RUGBY-TEAM SCENE IS ICONIC TOO ALRIGHT. i looooove charlie’s imagination. and how often it betrays him.
(nick’s conversation is also the most i shall ever know about rugby SO MY GENERAL KNOWLEDGE SAYS THANK YOU)
(except i usually forget it within fifteen minutes SO MAYBE THIS IS BAD)
(ok ok FIFTEEN MINUTES LEFT I MUST HURRY, EXCUSE MY SOUL)
9:15 am. DUDE YOU DO NOT INSULT PEOPLE FOR WEARING COATS I SHALL MURDER YOU WITH BARE HANDS. possibly with stolen claws. AND A SWORD.
(i’ve always wanted to stab someone with a sword ok)
9:19 am. I HAD FORGOTTEN HOW AMAZING THIS WAS?? excuse me while I MELT INTO A PUDDLE and stay on the floor forever
9:33 am. three minutes late BUT I’M DONE
CONGRATULATIONS TO ME
I WILL SOB EXCUSE ME. its slightly impossible BUT I MAYBE KINDA LIKE THIS MORE THAN THE LAST TWO TIMES?? NICK AND CHARLIE ARE PHENOMENAL OK. i love you, peoples.
- will probably never do this again. I’M INHUMANELY EXHAUSTED AND POSSIBLY WISH TO SLEEP FOR 200 YEARS
- except i have class in three hours
- but also. LESSON LEARNT. shall never fall out of track on the world-famous goodreads goal BECAUSE IT’S BRUTAL. the consequences, i mean.
- EXCEPT THIS WAS ALSO THE SLIGHTEST BITS FUN. except for the exhaustion, BUT IT’S OK. EXHAUSTION IS FUN TOO SOMETIMES.
- now excuse me while i go celebrate my victory (WITH CAKE) and then SLEEP FOREVER. GOODNIGHT.
WHAT’S ONE OF THE MOST INSANE AND EXCITING THINGS YOU’VE EVER DONE?? the longest you’ve ever stayed up?? HAVE YOU EVER INHALED THE INCENSE OF PAGES FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT?? BECAUSE THEN I NEED DETAILS OK. also tell me about past reading challenges and your success rate. HOW MANY BOOKS DID YOU READ IN 2022?? give me DETAILS PEOPLE.