july inked on paper (farewell to the month of the ridiculous)

july was actually insanely weird.

mostly in that i vaguely recall still being in the first week of it BUT SOMEHOW WE’RE IN AUGUST AND I’M FAILING TIME AGAIN. (#rude)

but also because i very uncharacteristically spent most of it doing other kinds of ignoring-math-assignments shaped stuff that surprisingly DID NOT include reading and/or writing, which is possibly even more shock-inducing than my unkempt foreignness with time.

(AREN’T I FULL OF SURPRISES LIKE THAT)

i maybe one day successfully convinced myself that i’d grown bored of my smol blog looking the same since an entire year and another half and therefore needed to have new and shiny things thrown at it. so i did the throwing. which included creating the new featured image graphics (BECAUSE I’M NOT WASTING CHOCOLATE BY THROWING IT INSTEAD, DARNIT) you probably saw on the rambles section of this otherworldly phenomenon (aka dipped in ink) if you’re nice like that, or didn’t if you’re not. and changing up themes and habitually freaking out over the workings of the universe and such.

i’m currently on a misson to transfer the new graphics onto all the ancient ancient posts and possibly edit everything while i’m at it because KILLING TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE SEE. (shit that’s such a terrible saying PEOPLE ARE DUMB)

although aforementioned editing may or may not have been on pause from the first of august because like. i suck. (BUT SHHH YOU DIDN’T HEAR THAT FROM ME I’M FABULOUS QUEEN OF ALL AND OLIVE EXTRAORDINAIRE. BOW TO ME, YOU WEAK LITTLE MORTALS YOU)

i maybe also spontaneously fell in love with coding (WHICH WAS AN ACCIDENT, CORNFLOUR. DON’T GLARE LIKE THAT) after trying to learn html because i wanted to have entire control over this gremlin blog (see i stay true to my bookish roots) and spent the rest of july working my way through every single c++ tutorial i could find (because html was absurdly dull and i therefore abandoned that mission to learn The Hardest Programming Language On The Net™)

(nice times, i think)

it’s humiliating writing wrap-ups where i’ve read less than eight books (especially after proclaiming how i could easily read over 200) because i’m afraid that might take away from my (albeit self-appointed) position as queen of the universe.

but in july i was a failure and read five books (all of them digital BECAUSE HELLO HAVE YOU MET ME I’M INCAPABLE OF ANYTHING ELSE). three o’ the five were full-length novels, the fourth one a comic and a king lear reading-guide-cum-reference-book (after a failed attempt at comprehending the events of the 2017 adaptation WHY DO THEY TALK LIKE SHAKESPEARE DID BUT STILL DRIVE AROUND IN CARS??) (#theOliveIsConfused) coming in fifth. but we won’t talk about that here. mostly because 1) the cover’s an ugly ugly mix of neon yellow and black stripes and i refuse to have it littering everything THOSE IDIOTIC BEASTS. and 2) it was terrible and i hated it and deemed it trashy so maybe just read another one of my reviews for the books-i-hate and you’ll get the basics.

(smol sidenote BUT CLICK ON THE LINKS IN THE BULLET POINTS UNDERNEATH THE BOOK HEADINGS. to read larger reviews and more screams) (I’M NOT GOING TO HACK YOUR LAPTOP, BOB) (and click on the book covers if you want to jump to goodreads. although i’d like it better if you stayed, BUT HEY. YOUR WISH)

something more by jackie khalilieh

this was a disaster made of words and i’m mad.

• the plot basically revolves around a 15-year-old girl who gets diagnosed with autism right before her freshman year of high school and swears to keep it a secret from everyone at school (#ItDoesn’tWork)
• she also falls in love with a boy and makes some really shitty friends who are basically just Jerks™ and also befriends a kid in her art class and dumps all her problems on him (their friendship is so one-sided and artificial?? i don’t get it??).
• but then the boy she befriended falls in love with her too and throws a fit when she doesn’t realize it because OH HE WAS SO OBVIOUS HOW COULD SHE NOT LOVE HIM (#JERK. like, grow the frick UP dude)
• most of this book is actually populated by Dumb People doing Dumb Things so i’m not sure how useful it really is.
• (maybe keep a 2 mile distance at all times AND NEVER READ IT BECAUSE I WARNED YOU) (you’re welcome)

everyday use by alice walker

i read this for school and i always have very Complicated thoughts on stuff i read for school (because i hate school SO AM I ALSO SUPPOSED TO HATE EVERYTHING IT TELLS ME TO DO IN AN ATTEMPT AT SOLIDARITY??) (i’m confused and need someone to tell me what the heck to do with my life)

• this was kind of nice and kind of not but mostly i haven’t thought about it very much, so like,,, idk dude. i feel like i’m supposed to have “read between the lines”, but there’s only blank spaces between them SO?? HOW DO I READ THAT??
• it’s about two daughters, one of whom burned their childhood home (or that is what i got anyway?? maybe i should reread) and it’s about their mother and about how much all of their views on the world they live in and the way they’re treated in it differ.
• (it’s kind of nice like that)

this savage song by victoria schwab

welcome to my most favorite book in what’s probably half a year.

• this was a wild ride and i?? loved it so much ok.
• it’s populated by all sorts of monsters and it’s kind of gory and a little bit dark and it’s about a girl and a boy who are attacked and run away and get betrayed.
• there’s also a cat and they talk about how cats make better pets than monsters who dream of killing you and maybe i have an unhealthy obsession with cats BUT WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT SO SHUT UP.
• i’m so darn glad this book exists
• also i haven’t lovedlovedloved a book in such a LONG TIME (if you can’t tell) so i love you about 37363x more for writing this, schwab, YOU FABULOUS MONSTER.
• (OH AND click here to access live word footage of me screaming about ilsa BECAUSE SHE’S FABULOUS)

heartstopper (volume 1) by alice oseman

so the plan was to be characteristically phenomenal and binge the entire graphic novel series before season 2 came out. which was obviously an epic failure since we’re way past the 3rd august deadline of fabulous completion. so here’s the lone book, you.

• am pretty sure that if there’s one book in the world i could read for the rest of time and not get bored of to the point where i scream and chuck it at the wall, it’d be this one.
• my thoughts are pretty much the same as the first time i read it, but i have a smol growing suspicion that i maybe keep liking it a little bit more every time i read it.
• WHICH WOULD BE A PROBLEM BUT LIKE. nick and charlie are my kids AND I LOVE THEM.
• also tara and darcy but especially darcy. SHE HAS LIKE ONE LINE IN THIS BOOK BUT SHE STILL STEALS MY SOUL AND I’M CONFUSED ABOUT IT.

(so that was nice)

i was a potato this month and most of my story consumption came in the form of learning how a microwave worked and listening to taylor swift songs while doing useless things every day. and like,,, it SHOWS (ha ha, pun intended. ha) (ok i’ll stop now)

xo, kitty (rewatch the first)

i have ‘late to the hype’ written in my hypothetical bio and it’s also one of the first things anyone ever knows about me (because i’m an olive and talk about it a lot), but i watched this only like,,, 2 weeks after it was released AND AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR BREAKING ALL MY RULES. (#rebel)

• dae’s such a dull character he actually puts me to sleep like 38474% of the time.
• but he’s also a smol kid so i feel a little mean for saying that about him.
• KITTY’S THE LOML AND ALSO THE ABSOLUTE COOLEST EVER. (dae doesn’t deserve her)
• she does dumb things sometimes but is also such a fun person to be around ADOPT ME??
• BUT LET’S TALK ABOUT Q AND FLORIAN THEY’RE SO CUTE I OFFICIALLY GIVE UP MY REPUTATION AS THE DARK-HEARTED MONSTER WHO LOVES NO ONE, BECAUSE THEIR ROMANCE MAKES ME SQUEAL AGH.
• (am basically in love with everyone in this THANKS AND DON’T TELL)

oppenheimer

i’ve spent all my life since fifth grade (fifth grade was actually very cool. we had this entire portion of the textbook that talked about nothing except the wars and everyone in our class had an obsession with hitler wherein we spent all our free periods copying his mustaches on paper and sticking them onto our faces to see who got it most accurate) obsessing over the second world war and greadily eating up every single piece of media and internet article and fiction book i manage to find about it, and i can still effortlessly confirm that this is officially the best thing anyone’s ever created.

• HELLO, my new favorite movie of all time (which is actually a much rarer title than it sounds because i’m firmly convinced that tv shows far succeed movies in being generally phenomenal, and i only have like,,, three others that i can thoughtlessly declare favorites) (and i’ve watched a LOT of movies)
• oppenheimer’s character is so COOL and the most realistic television portrayal of what humans are actually like to ever exist BUT ALSO SO COOL OH MY GOSH. i love science-y movies that are technical and ridiculous and exciting and talk about humanity and revolve around ambition and obsession and disasters. and then this kind of blew the world and my expectations by also adding the second world war into it all SO LIKE YAY.
• I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS LIKE DUDE IT WAS OTHERWORLDLY GENIUS AND I’M A WEIRD STUTTERING OLIVE WHO CAN’T SPEAK WORDS AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW.
• so like,,,,, bye.

my life is currently very nice in that i’m the person who has about 374638 cats following her around every time she leaves the house and i just. sometimes cry thinking about how happy smol anoushka would be if she could see me now. COMPLETELY WINNING AT LIFE AND EVERYTHING.

i tried korean food for the first time and it was surprising amazingness??

• LIKE WOW ASIANS RULE.
• my sister also tried teaching me how to eat with chopsticks but it was kind of an utter fail. BUT IN HER DEFENCE, SHE DID TRY VERY HARD. i’m just clumsy and convinced that sticks are supposed to be poked into the food, so our ideologies don’t exactly match.
• (#iRefuseToDoAsTheNormDoes)
• (i obviously don’t have photos for this because i’m weak and forget about human existence every time i’m presented with food so OOPS but i’m not sorry)

the cat i call mine who lives outside our house had kittens in june AND THEY’RE GROWING SO QUICK SOMEONE SEND HELP

• this actually happened sometime on the 29th in the middle of the night and there was a lot of freaking out the next day and our cat kept trying to stuff every one of them under our sofa and we then spent 4737 hours getting them out over and over again because cats are fabulous creatures who never give up trying. (MY SMOL MONSTERS)
• there used to be four of them but now there’s only two.
• (SAY HELLO TO NIJO AND OUR AS-OF-YET UNNAMED KITTENS) (even though they’re like two months old and desperately in need of names that are more unique than ‘kid’ and ‘kitten’ and ‘baby’ and ‘the best people in my whole entire life’) (WE TRY)

• lately they’ve taken to meowing outside our door in turns until we open up and let them in because it’s human-evaporation-levels of hot outside (no seriously it’s like 50 C on the good days AND MY CATS MELT IT’S TERRIBLE), my poor poor beasts.
• they also trot around and jump everywhere and bite each other and follow nijo and walk up to biscotti (this is the half-striped black-and-white cat in the third photo HE’S GORGEOUS) every single day even after getting hit like 28467 times (i’m confused if they’re that brave or if they just plain do not care) because they think biscotti’s the coolest ever. but he’s scared of them and runs away. SO DARN SMOL.
• but they’re also the absolute cutest SO IGNORE MY COMPLAINTS.
• (also go here for The Background™ and MORE PHOTOS because i’m amazing like that)

we’re one month closer to cait’s new book SO EVERYONE SCREAM

• sometimes i’m pretty entirely convinced that the only reason i even bother drafting wrap-ups anymore is because i get to scream about this book in them
• BUT DUDE IT HAS A NAME AND AN EXPECTED PUBLICATION DATE OF THE 1ST OF JANUARY AND I AWAIT MY BEST NEW YEAR’S DAY EVER (i scream)
• (i’m pretty sure i mostly entirely don’t even care about the passage of time anymore and mainly just need the next year to GET HERE QUICK. THAT MONSTER WHO FEEDS OFF OF TORTURING ME LIKE THAT) (#I’veFoundTheRealDemon)
• (i’m so excited okay)

bottomline in maybe july wasn’t as terrible as i thought it would be. (WHICH IS A GOOD THING)

my current august plans involve reading about a truckload of fantasy because magic sounds very exciting right about now, but i also want to maybe study. (#theTroublesOfTheHumanWorldAmiright)

here’s to all the books and books and books of august. (although it’s almost over already. but #IGNORE)

in a single word, what did your july look like? the best and the worst books-o’-the-month?? have you read something more by jackie khalilieh BECAUSE MAYBE THEN WE COULD BE PARTNERS-IN-CRIME-AND-RANTING? or this savage song by victoria schwab BECAUSE THEN WE’D SCREAM?