november inked on paper || welcome to the last time we ever get to add 22 to the end of a date. i’m actually very sad.

november was such a weird month.

november was crowds and people and dogs and chaos. it was fancy dresses and weddings and basically just a whirlwind of things happening, most of which don’t even make sense anymore.

but i vaguely remember it being fun. i majorly just recall it being disappointing.

although the disappointing part of it can hugely be attributed to the sole mistake the world made of running away too fast. basically, i can’t believe we’re only a month away from 23 AND IT MAJORLY FREAKS ME OUT??

time is scary like that.

I WANT 2022 TO GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING AND RESTART ALL OVER AGAIN FROM THERE.

in the proper reputation of failure, my readingly month was terrible. we’re all highly adjustible with each other like that. or maybe we’ve just matched each other’s rhythms so well at this point, it’s effortless to coordinate.

the pachinko parlour by elisa shua dusapin – [2★] i don’t even really remember what happened throughout the entirety of this. except there was hotels-turned-appartments and pachinko parlours and a story that didn’t really have a plot, but the idea of which i fell in love with. the world was nice once upon a time. all of it reminds me, very vaguely, of coffee. THE BOOK, NOT THE WORLD.

if you could see the sun by ann liang – [3★] HELLO my new favorite book of ever. (or, like, the last three months BECAUSE SIX OF CROWS RULES OBVIOUSLY) say welcome, folks. ALSO THROW CHOCOLATES ONTO THE STAGE BECAUSE I NEED SOME. this is dark academia without the dark aspect, and deals with the universal topic of poverty and privilege AND THERE’S ALL THESE QUOTES I HIGHLIGHTED WHICH MAYBE COMPRISED OF THE WHOLE BOOK (oops?) it’s the kind of story i wish i could someday write merely for the insane amounts of fun that i imagine went into its creation. I WANT TO HAVE THAT KIND OF FUN OK.

you have a match by emma lord – [2★] emma lord and i don’t ever really get along very well. but i’m apparently very persistent in all the wrong things and shall therefore be excited for everything she ever writes. the world is weird like that. but i like her characters and their admitted quirkyness. although the romance always disappoints, BUT ITS OK. her characters are fun. so we ignore the rest. because #priorities am i right.

the noh family by grace k. shim – [1.5★] look. if someone asked me to describe this book in a single word (which, let’s be real, WOULD BE AN OTHERWORLDLY OCCURRENCE because no one around me is that jobless AND I KIND OF TALK ALL THEIR EARS OFF WITHOUT THE FURTHER PROVOCATION ANYWAY so they know better than to ever, even accidentally, venture out there ON THE TOPIC OF BOOKS) i’d say it’s weird. and also confusing (MAKE THAT WORD COUNT TWO) i don’t really know what my thoughts must be CAN SOMEONE TELL ME.

december is the month with the smollest amount of releases i’m willing to overthrow the world for, but there’s also a million to one and i’d probably overthrow the world multiple times over for it alone. which neutralizes things. or it’s supposed to, at least. i’m not sure.

the poison season by mara rutherford [december 6th 2022] – i’m obsessed with poison. but then sometimes the world is kind and mixes up the poison with people-shaped disappearances and bloodthirsty forests (DUDE THE BLOODTHIRSTY PART GETS ME RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED EVERY TIME. it might actually have been criminal if i didn’t love excitement and the rush of adrenaline that comes with it so much).

come out, come out, whatever you are by kathryn foxfield [december 6th 2022] – it’s highly possible that i might currently be suffering from a subdued horror obsession. THERE’S SOMETHING SO INCREDIBLY FASCINATING ABOUT DANGER. hence presenting: THIS BOOK. it’s about a ghost who eats peoples’ hearts (I WANT TO BECOME SAID GHOST SOMEDAY AND THIS SEEMS LIKE A GOOD FIRST STEP) and teenagers involved in murder. THIS IS FUN. i love fun.

acting the part by z.r. ellor [december 6th 2022] – the last book i read featuring the acting industry, I WAS INHUMANE LEVELS OF DISAPPOINTED. but it’s a general rule of not learning from past mistakes that i follow, and hence i must try again. enter: this book. it’s queer and focuses on online communities AND THE MAIN CHARACTER’S AN ACTOR which is supposed to interest people.

a million to one by adiba jaigirdar [december 13th 2022] – sometimes i make wild declarations and usually those declarations are true. hence presenting: a wild declaration: THIS BOOK SINGULARLY CARRIED THE ENTIRETY OF 2022 FOR ME ALRIGHT. the excitement for it, i mean. maybe the most-anticipated-releases-of-all-time releasing in december is a good thing. it makes the year end so much less sadder. BUT ALSO. AM CONTEMPLATING A READATHON OF ALL THINGS ADIBA JAIGIRDAR IN PREPARATION AND ALSO INCREASED EXCITEMENT. because excitement is vital dammit. i am excitement.

maybe i pretty much unapologetically disappeared from the online world and HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL EVEN HAPPENED. excuse my soul. i’ve been busy with other wordly endeavours and am this close to taking over the world.

• i’m mostly only just screaming over cait’s new book uptill now AND HOW I WISH TO HIBERNATE UNTIL 2024 ROUNDS THE CORNER. how has no one created human hibernation mechanisms yet?? OR BETTER YET: TIME MACHINES.
• humans are dumb obviously. HOW DID NO ONE TELL THEM TIME MACHINES SHALL SAVE THEIR (read: mine. because the world revolves around me. obviously. HOW DARE YOU EVEN QUESTION IT) LIFE ONE DAY.
• i basically just want a time machine so, so bad, alright?
• i’m desperate enough to actually even considering making one myself, BUT IT’S OK. i’ll be nice and concern myself with reading all the rest of my books until 2024 is mine.
• i’m nice like that.

oh hello. i’m very boring and also in the habit of repeating myself too often. i basically disappeared again and am possibly in love with the idea of living under rocks and living off of the scarce vegetation that grows under them?? it sounds like a fascinating idea when you put it like that.

especially since the idea of discovering tunnels underneath is such a nice idea to think about every night.

excuse the rock talk and my disappearances though. i don’t usually plan such things before doing them. so it’s all mostly spontaneous. and spontaneous never ends very well. or so they tell me.

there was, unfortunately, only a single instance of inking committed in the entirety of november’s many numerous days. look, I WAS BUSY, ALRIGHT?? there’s dogs in our neighbourhood (technically. my aunt’s. because the dogs have deemed my own unworthy and have forbidden their own mutual residence anywhere even minutely near it) (but it’s ok. we don’t do technicalities) and i LOVE dogs, alright?? and also stealing food from under people’s noses because people are cruel and don’t like it when i give their kitchen’s many contents to my dogs. SO I MUST DO IT FROM UNDER THEIR NOSES. my dogs mustn’t starve. (BUT ALSO I’VE CURRENTLY SUCCESSFULLY ADOPTED FOUR LESS OF TWENTY AND THERE’S A PUPPY-TRIO OUTSIDE AFOREMENTIONED AUNT-RESIDED HOUSE AND THEY LICK MY HANDS AND SIT ON MY FEET SOMETIMES. THEY’RE ALSO ADORABLE AND THEN THERE’S A DOG BEHIND SAID HOUSE WHO RUNS A LOT AND IS THE SOLE REASON I’M STILL ALIVE AND WELL. MY SMOL PRECIOUS HEARTS. I LOVE THEM)

concentration is hard when there’s puppies running around and more dogs willing to take over the world.

but also. loveless was an october read AND I SLIGHTLY FELL IN LOVE. apart from being: 1.) the best ever book to grace my life since WHO EVEN KNOWS WHEN and 2.) an absolute life-saver because life is sad sometimes and this book is hilarious, THERE’S ALSO A PLANT NAMED RODERICK AND I LOVE HIM, ALRIGHT?? i shall get a plant one day and have imagined conversations with it and name it roderick. and maybe i’ll read to it sometimes.

except all of this talk of roderick (I LOVE YOU) kind of makes me want to reread, WHICH IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA*. so we must shut up now. SHOOO, ALIENS. let me live my life now. I STILL HAVE LIBRARIES TO CONQUER.

*LOOK I NEVER REREAD. IT’S KIND OF LIKE THIS GENERAL PRINCIPLE OF ‘I CAN’T FAIL BECAUSE THEN I’D REALIZE THAT THE WORLD DOESN’T END IF FAILURE TAKES OVER THE LIFE I CALL MY OWN.’ SOMEWHERE ALONG THOSE LINES. I’M FORBIDDEN FROM EVER REREADING BECAUSE THEN I’D REALIZE THAT I LOVE THOSE BOOKS AND THEY MAKE MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE AND I’D LAUGH. AFTER WHICH, I’D REPEAT. BECAUSE THE BOOKS ARE NICE, GOSHDARNIT. AND WHY WOULD I BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO EXPERIMENT WITH BOOKS THAT I MIGHT END UP HATING IF I ALREADY HAVE SO MANY FABULOUS BOOKS ALREADY. I’D FAIL IN MY GOAL OF READING ALL THE THINGS, OK?? AND I CAN’T DO THAT.

is it possible to desperately anticipate something while also wishing everyday that it doesn’t come so soon?

asking for a friend who has highly mixed-up feelings about the new year.

apart from it being my cousin’s wedding and me being ridiculously excited to finally go home in about two more weeks and set up residence in the public library again, life was boring and uneventful. (I DIDN’T DISCOVER MAGIC. WHICH MEANS: UNEVENTFUL. shut up, alien)

• i kidnapped some dogs and am busy GIVING THEM ALL THE TREATS. look i know how we already discussed this at length when i subtly excused my lack of posting on the existence of dogs, BUT WE CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY DOGS. i love them. it’s also kind of my greatest wish in life to adopt one and give it elaborate names no one in the family shall ever be able to remeber a day later. me included.

• i also happened to participated in nanowrimo and then gave up after a mere 4 days. I AM WEAK LIKE THAT. except i kind of forgot about it till the very last date and never had an outline ready. #IBLAMETHECALENDARFLIPPERSFORNOTREMINDINGMEOFTHEDATES

• i apparently need outlines that are moe detailed than the potato-shaped messes i scribbled up on the midnight of the 1st of november. MY LIFE IS CHAOS. someone make me outlines please? because i obviously lack the time.

apart from all the messes in my life that go by the name of nanowrimo, i’ve also been looking up short story ideas and certain competitions to put my writing more “OUT THERE”.

mostly because that’s what people say you must do.

BUT MAJORLY JUST BECAUSE I’M OUT HUNTING FOR INSPIRATION and aforementioned competitons fell into the net. and they sound fun. PROMPTS ARE FUN. but i’m also majorly obsessed with all the competition-ing so we can never be sure. IT’S A PROBLEM SOMETIMES.

except i’m terrible with deadlines and have already missed approximately five. WE’RE WORKING ON IT.

i might also be failing.

this was actually so much fun because i drafted it all out of order and laughed a lot BECAUSE THE PEOPLE OUTSIDE WERE LAUGHING and also cared not about my words and what they said because it’s the dead of night and the lights are out so that the keys on the keyboard are barely visible. also my eyes ache, SO GOODBYE. i must sleep now and dream of cake and fabulous books and all my dogs. it’s a nice life.

five words that decribe the course of your november?? was it good overall or bad or DO YOU HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF RECENT PASTS (it’s ok. i won’t judge)?? GIVE ME DETAILS PLEASE. also give me your favorite books. and your favorite december releases. and what happened with your life and all the ways it betrayed you. DO YOU PREFER MOUNTAINS OR BEACHES??