Pretty Deadly Words #2 || I scream about waffles and darkness and words AND MY NEW WIP

Words are fun sometimes.

Mostly because they have letters and you can spell ‘d r a g o n’ with them.

So I write words sometimes. Which you’d probably know because that’s kind of what’s going on now? Not to mention I LOVE DRAGONS. So I need words obviously. THEY’RE CRUCIAL. Or my dragons would die.

Except I have been too busy lately, narrating the many ways shakespeare is overhyped to my aforementioned precious dragons and eating all the olives and waffles and chocolates and also devouring all the words. I’VE BEEN BUSY, ALRIGHT? WORLD DOMINATION TAKES TIME AND INSANELY HUGE AMOUNTS OF PLANNING, HUMANS! The words got a little abandoned. Which was sad, but I’M WORKING ON IT, OKAY?

Hence, for like redemption purposes, today I am kind and intoducing you to my evil WIP where waffles rule the world and ghosts eat them. BECAUSE GHOSTS LIKE TO BE POWERFUL LIKE THAT.

Basically, welcome to the EPISODE THE SECOND of the Pretty Deadly Words project WHERE WE SCREAM ABOUT WORDS AND THE BEST WAYS OF STABBING PEOPLE!

Today, we introduce our novels.

For more delicious information, you can head over to the introduction post OR we just list some stuff here for the lazy POTATOES.

So what is the deadly talk all about anyway??? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

Pretty Deadly Words is a writing meme (PROJECT) where writers can polish their duelling + sword fighting skills and HELP IN WORLD DOMINANCE. Its also a collaboration (WHERE THE STRAWBERRY BEFRIENDS THE OLIVE) where each month, we put out 10 different and equally-infuriating questions regarding aformentioned writing of yours to pry out ALL THE DETAILS! Its supposed to be aimed at helping you better discover the many secrets of your glorious creation AND ALSO FUN. You can participate by stealing all the questions from the Pretty Deadly Words post of the month from ink, words and ash OR dipped in ink, and ANSWER THEM!! (Cackling evilly while doing aforementioned stealing is a proud tradition SO DO NOT FORGET) ALSO! Link back to our posts so we can devour yours!!

THE DEADLY ARCHIVES

• Pretty Deadly Words: A Deadly Introduction
• Pretty Deadly Words # 1: Screaming about words and writerly histories

what is this GLORIOUS TALE of beauty and misery and tears and WORDS about??

A sort-of loosely-based hansel and gretel retelling about a girl who lived in a house of ghosts and is THE EVIL LEADER OF A GROUP OF DANGEROUS THIEVES and everyone fears her (she is immensely proud of the fact). She lives in an office-type thing shrouded in darkness AT ALL TIMES and filled with books and spare papers and all things research + every single detail she’s ever found about the forest WHERE HER BROTHER DISAPPEARED. Her bed is filled with books too because she never sleeps there. She breaks into people’s houses and imagines they are hers for a day. Maybe she’s secretly hoping she’ll find her brother in one of them. Maybe she just likes being powerful and evil.

Sometimes she also steals waffles.
And other food, BUT MAINLY WAFFLES

There shall be a heist involved and SEARCH FOR WAFFLES.

what’s the story behind your story?? TELL US HOW YOU MERCILESSLY STOLE IT (or, you know, dreamt up while the physics professor was droning on about vectors and oscillations and such, I WON’T JUDGE)

Stories behind stories have the reputation of being laughably weird sometimes. And I am completely unoriginal so this story follows aforementioned reputation. OBVIOUSLY.

One fine afternoon I was bored and eating waffles and dreaming of conquering the world. There was the heartstopper playlist playing in the background and the trees swaying in the wind and I WAS BORED. So I decided to give my life a purpose and create stories based on each of the heartstopper songs BECAUSE THAT SOUNDED RIDIULOUSLY COOL and also I COULD OBSESS OVER THE SONGS FOREVER AND NO ONE CAN FORCIBLY RID ME OF AFOREMENTIONED OBSESSION BECAUSE I AM TECHINICALLY WORKING, RIGHT??

(#genius)

But then the story changed into a house where ghosts of a broken family reside and where houses like to be wild and WAFFLES ARE ALIVE.

might you be kind and grace us with your story’s glorious pitch??

The boy who steals houses meets the darkest part of the forest in a story about a girl who wishes to burn down the world and the boy whose life she changes. There’s also ghosts and waffles and a yellow house that looks too cheerful to be sitting on the edge of a forest that has been known to eat people and animals and all things ever, BUT HOUSES LIKE TO BE REBELLIOUS TOO SOMETIMES.

It’s actually kind of the story of a house. Plus a ghost family that lives there. And all the people who went missing and rumors about the forest eating them up. But then stuff happens and the girl steals a watch from the boy, BUT GETS CAUGHT and then she kidnaps him. SHE’S AMAZING LIKE THAT. She also steals his waffles and then the boy gets mad. THERE ARE SWORDS INVOLVED. People die. It’s fun. (With a slight stabbing overload, BUT MINOR DETAILS RIGHT?)

choose FIVE smol words that do justice to your glorious wip or risk its WRATH. be good and ANSWER, PEOPLE.

• ghosts
• waffles
• yellow houses
• haunted EVERYTHING
• burning down the world
• magic

WHAT??? WHY DO YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT???? Of course I understand the meaning of ‘five smol words’!! It’s just that… the words like to break rules sometimes. IT’S NOT MY FAULT OK?! *grumbles*

what genre does the story belong to?? AND HOW WAS IT STOLEN BY THE EVIL CREATURES OF SAID GENRE?

Fantasy. Obviously. Because as already mentioned, FANTASY IS LIFE SOMETIMES. (Plus I actually have no idea how to write any other genre without losing remaining braincells, but MINOR DETAILS, AM I RIGHT??) See, the evil creatures of fantasy practically live in the same house as me AND STEALING IS EASY LIKE THAT OK?? So they stole. I STILL LIKE THEM. Because dragons are nice AND WORLD DOMINATION IS STILL A DREAM.

Plus they promised me truckloads of olives if I let them steal, AND DENYING THAT WOULD BE BETRAYAL RIGHT???? I AM LOYAL LIKE THAT.

do you sometimes bring along gorgeous aesthetics to ‘MAKE THE WORDS JEALOUS SO THEY FINALLY DECIDE TO BEHAVE, DARN IT’ or ARE YOUR WORDS FINE??

MY WORDS ARE FINE, THANK YOU. But also. I made aesthetics (THE WORDS AGREED, OK??) because PHOTOS LOOK GORGEOUSNESS and I do not usually give up on that. Plus, they’re good for #inspiration WHICH IS NICE.

what part of your novel are you RIDICULOUSLY (AND UNFAIRLY) obsessed with?? DETAILS DEMANDED because more fun, THE BETTER, right?? RIGHT.

MAGIC. Obviously. HOW PREDICTABLE RIGHT? But shhh THERE’S GOING TO BE MAGIC!! And I am kind of INSANELY EXCITED BECAUSE did. you. not. hear. MAGIC?? There’s also supossed to be a forest with secrets. AND SECRETS ARE ALWAYS FUN! Plus the boy has a huge huge family with THE HIGHEST NUMBER OF SIBLINGS EVER and the family accidentally adopts the girl.

I CANNOT WAIT FOR ALL THE WAFFLE SCENES TOO and I have them planned out in my head BECAUSE WHAT ELSE DO PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ALL DAY??

Oh and did I mention the boy’s parents work at a bookstore WHERE WORDS ARE MAGIC?? Aaaand there’s also all the EVIL parts of it, such as BURNING DOWN THE WORLD and ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DIE and obviously EVIL IS EXCITING, RIGHT?? I AM HERE FOR THE EVIL. And the magic.

Plus it involves dogs so I’ve been doing research on instagram by devouring all the dog reels. THAT IS HOW RESEARCH IS DONE, RIGHT??

all the tough parts that make the otherwise-amazing story you’re about to summon out of magic and madness SOUND A LITTLE SAD??

Words are difficult. Plus, THE BOY WON’T BEHAVE. It’s infuriating sometimes. EVEN ALL THE WAFFLE BRIBES WON’T WORK. I do not understand the boy. He keeps changing personalities and WHY IS HE EVEN IN THE STORY. Mostly because he’s the main waffle provider BUT ALSO HE PROBABLY NEEDS A MORE SIGNIFICANT ROLE??? And by an evil turn of events I AM SUPPOSED TO GIVE THAT TO HIM??? The world is ridiculous sometimes.

Plus the fact that I have ALMOST NOTHING FIGURED OUT does not exactly help. I still need to work on the evil backstories AND. THE. NAMES.

Writing the actual book is going to be difficult. But then you get lost in the magic of the words sometimes and the world seems amazing. SO NOT ALL BAD, I GUESS??

has your story ever been given life BEFORE?? or is this the first time you’re being kind enough to show it the light of day, instead of ruthlessly murdering the words and possibly also your hair, EVIL OLIVES OF MINE??

HA. HAHAHHAHAHAHA. HOW FUNNY.

I’m currently working on plotting an idea AND HAVE NO IDEA WHERE ANYTHING GOES. My story obviously hasn’t lived before.

Except if living invloves eating tons of waffles and crying over burnt worlds. My story has done that before.

do you prefer being all alone in this freakishly exciting endeavour (so you can be evil and KEEP ALL THE GOODNESS TO YOURSELF) (I HAVE TAUGHT YOU, WELL, MY EVIL OLIVE) or ARE YOU DECIDING TO LET SOMEONE ELSE IN ON ALL THE FUN?? And have you ever done that BEFORE??

Co-writing is nice. BUT NO, THIS PROJECT ONLY HAS ME, UNFORTUNATELY. And it shall feel lonely sometimes because I also have to look after my many books and may end up abandoning it. But, yes, I have co-written books with olives before AND IT WAS FREAKISHLY EXCITING. (see, making other people come up with the character names when you can’t is NICE, okay) The co-written olivish works go thusly:

• A story about two doctors who travel to a cuboidal planet in search of a mineral that’s apparently useful for the curing of the Eyebrow Disease that has destroyed the world. But then they meet smol aliens who fall asleep before completing their sentences and trade in hair and live in underground tunnels with glass domes and end up adopting the doctors, after which they get stuck fighting a war with EVILNESS (which is basically a smol black particle of EVIL PLASTIC because idiocy right??) and people die. THE END. (So this was co-written with my best friend of ever, 3 years back and WE WERE SMOL EXCITED CREATURES BACK THEN. WE DREAMED OF SAVING THE WORLD FROM DANGEROUS PARTICLES OF PLASTIC SOMETIMES.)
• A girl decides that running away might be fun and so does the FUN THING but then gets kidnapped and ends up in a secret underground world where the queen is her mom (WHO MAKES RULES HERE???) but NO ONE KNOWS THAT. So everyone hunts for her because she’s evil and that’s the reason she’s on the run and befriends pirates and LEARNS SWORD FIGHTING. After which the people find her and kill her. PROBABLY. We never got that far actually. (This was co-written by me, the olive, with me, the olive. I PLAYED A DOUBLE PERSONALITY AND GAVE SNARKY REMARKS IN GOOGLE DOCS AND BLAMED ALL THE PLOT HOLES ON THE OTHER OLIVE WHO WAS ME. 100000/10 RECOMMEND)
• And a secret retelling currently in the works, co-written by ash and me. BUT. SECRETS.

DO YOU FIND WORDS FASCINATING AND WRITE THEM SOMETIMES??? If yes, I demand DETAILS. Have you ever written stories before?? ARE YOU CURRENTLY WORKING ON SOMETHING??? If yes, DESCRIBE IT IN FIVE WORDS IN THE COMMENTS PLEASE!! Thoughts on waffles AND GHOSTS???